[Joshua]

Budro dies and goes to Hell. He's sitting down there mildly content. Satan walks by, sees him and says, "What's with you?" He says, "This feels like a June day in Louisiana." Satan gets mad and goes over to the thermostate and turns it up. Later he comes by and Budro is smiling to himself. Satan goes, "What are you smiling about?" Budro says, "This feels like a July day down on the biyjou." Satan gets more angree and turns the thermostate up even higher. About a half hour later Satan walks by and Budro is kinda snickering now. He says, "It's hotter than Hell down here. What are you snickering about?" He says, "This feels like an August day down south." Satan goes over to the thermostate and reefs on it and breaks it. Things start getting cold, it starts icing up, eventually it starts snowing. Satan comes by and Budro is rolling with laughter on the ground, he's high fiving the demons, and generally causing a scene. Satan goes, "What's your problem. Before it was hotter than hell and now it's freezing. Why are you so excited?" He says, "Well obviously the Saints just won the Superbowl!"

 

Add your humorous story here!

[Joshua]

[Joshua]

In honor of Fathers Day:

today'sFUNNY===========================

TOP 10 WRONG WAYS TO INITIATE YOUR SON INTO MANHOOD

10. Teach him the secret male ritual of leaving the toilet seat up and the toilet paper roll empty.

9. Have a ceremony where you give him his own remote control.

8. Lead him through an afternoon of rigorous physical training in the back yard while you sit in a lawn chair with a half-gallon of ice cream.

7. Eat until you're about to burst and then ride the Screamin' Hurler roller coaster.

6. Put cream on his face and let the cat shave him with its tongue.

5. Walk behind him through his school halls yelling, "You da man!"

4. Send him to the local discount store to buy mom's "personal things."

3. Give him Grandma's lime green 1978 Ford Pinto with personalized license plates that say, "TUFFGUY."

2. Send the ladies shopping, then get out your secret Old Yeller video and have a good cry together.

1. Shot put catching.

today'sTHOT============================

You're the best father I can imagine, unless you lost my inheritance in the economic meltdown in which case I can imagine better.

=======================================

 

[Joshua]

In honor of Fathers Day:

today'sFUNNY===========================

TOP 10 WRONG WAYS TO INITIATE YOUR SON INTO MANHOOD

10. Teach him the secret male ritual of leaving the toilet seat up and the toilet paper roll empty.

9. Have a ceremony where you give him his own remote control.

8. Lead him through an afternoon of rigorous physical training in the back yard while you sit in a lawn chair with a half-gallon of ice cream.

7. Eat until you're about to burst and then ride the Screamin' Hurler roller coaster.

6. Put cream on his face and let the cat shave him with its tongue.

5. Walk behind him through his school halls yelling, "You da man!"

4. Send him to the local discount store to buy mom's "personal things."

3. Give him Grandma's lime green 1978 Ford Pinto with personalized license plates that say, "TUFFGUY."

2. Send the ladies shopping, then get out your secret Old Yeller video and have a good cry together.

1. Shot put catching.

today'sTHOT============================

You're the best father I can imagine, unless you lost my inheritance in the economic meltdown in which case I can imagine better.

=======================================

 

[emil]

The Chinese have been trying to push the tourism sector to greater heights. The government has asked all hotels, tourist guides and restaurants to provide all best possible services and proper guidance to tourists and learn English. The hotels have adopted an aggressive approach to attracting and guiding tourists; 

Examples:

Welcome letter: Getting There:Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The hotel bus runs along the lake and you will feel pleasure in passing water. You will know the hotel is near, because you will go round the bend. As you come into the hotel, our beautiful manager will offer welcome drinks and then have intercourse with all new guests.

The Hotel: This is a family hotel, so adultery and children are welcome. Nurses are available in the evenings to put down your children.. Guests are invited to mate in the bar and expose themselves to others. It is good to have intercourse with others and become fast friends. But please note that ladies are not allowed to have their babies in the bar. With our help they can be delivered in the baby center. We organize social games, so no guest is ever left alone to play with himself.

Your Room: Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In winter, every room is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity. All your needs are from room service. Please feel free to ring for the chambermaid and take advantage of her.

Hospitality: When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will struggle to forget it.

[emil]

The Chinese have been trying to push the tourism sector to greater heights. The government has asked all hotels, tourist guides and restaurants to provide all best possible services and proper guidance to tourists and learn English. The hotels have adopted an aggressive approach to attracting and guiding tourists; 

Examples:

Welcome letter: Getting There:Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The hotel bus runs along the lake and you will feel pleasure in passing water. You will know the hotel is near, because you will go round the bend. As you come into the hotel, our beautiful manager will offer welcome drinks and then have intercourse with all new guests.

The Hotel: This is a family hotel, so adultery and children are welcome. Nurses are available in the evenings to put down your children.. Guests are invited to mate in the bar and expose themselves to others. It is good to have intercourse with others and become fast friends. But please note that ladies are not allowed to have their babies in the bar. With our help they can be delivered in the baby center. We organize social games, so no guest is ever left alone to play with himself.

Your Room: Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In winter, every room is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity. All your needs are from room service. Please feel free to ring for the chambermaid and take advantage of her.

Hospitality: When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will struggle to forget it.

[emil]

I was just reading something about Abraham and how he became the father of Isaac at such an advanced age. Not sure whether this is funny for the rest of you but this fun thought struck me.

Having a 28 year age difference between me and my eldest child, the generation gap was bad enough. I wonder what it must have been like for those two patriarchs. 🙂

[emil]

I was just reading something about Abraham and how he became the father of Isaac at such an advanced age. Not sure whether this is funny for the rest of you but this fun thought struck me.

Having a 28 year age difference between me and my eldest child, the generation gap was bad enough. I wonder what it must have been like for those two patriarchs. 🙂

[Sarah2013]

You saw a shirt for $97. You didn’t have the cash, so you borrowed $50 from your mom and $50 from your dad = $100. You bought the shirt and had $3 change. You gave your dad $1 and your mom $1 and kept the other $1 for yourself. Now you owe your mom $49 and your dad $49. Now $49+$49= $98+ your $1=$99. Where is the missing $1?

 

If you think you are good in math, solve this. I dare you. 

[Sarah2013]

You saw a shirt for $97. You didn’t have the cash, so you borrowed $50 from your mom and $50 from your dad = $100. You bought the shirt and had $3 change. You gave your dad $1 and your mom $1 and kept the other $1 for yourself. Now you owe your mom $49 and your dad $49. Now $49+$49= $98+ your $1=$99. Where is the missing $1?

 

If you think you are good in math, solve this. I dare you. 

[emil]

Wow good one Sarah2013. With that math you could start your own church.

I owe mom and dad $49 each = $98

I have $97 on the shirt and $1 in my pocket = $98

[emil]

Wow good one Sarah2013. With that math you could start your own church.

I owe mom and dad $49 each = $98

I have $97 on the shirt and $1 in my pocket = $98

[Simon]

There is no missing dollar 🙂

[Simon]

There is no missing dollar 🙂

[Joshua]

Here’s another dollar puzzler for ya:

Three men go into a hotel. The manager says that he only has one room left but he’ll give it to them for $30. Each of the men pay $10. Later the manager feels guilty because he overcharged the three men by five dollars. The manager calls the bell boy over and gives the bell boy the five dollars to give back to the three men. On the way to the room the bell boy takes two dollars. At the room the bell boy gives the three men back three dollars so each of the men takes one dollar. With this dollar refund for each of them it means each one of them paid $9. Three men X $9 each = $27

If you add back in the two dollars the bell boy took you get $29. Where’s the other dollar?

[Joshua]

Here’s another dollar puzzler for ya:

Three men go into a hotel. The manager says that he only has one room left but he’ll give it to them for $30. Each of the men pay $10. Later the manager feels guilty because he overcharged the three men by five dollars. The manager calls the bell boy over and gives the bell boy the five dollars to give back to the three men. On the way to the room the bell boy takes two dollars. At the room the bell boy gives the three men back three dollars so each of the men takes one dollar. With this dollar refund for each of them it means each one of them paid $9. Three men X $9 each = $27

If you add back in the two dollars the bell boy took you get $29. Where’s the other dollar?

[Sarah2013]

Nice one Joshua. I’ll solve it so they see.

[Sarah2013]

Nice one Joshua. I’ll solve it so they see.

[emil]

This one is similar to Sarah2013's puzzle.

There is no other $

The total charge for the room was $25. Each man paid $9. x 3 makes it $27. $25 went to the hotel and $2 in the bell boy's pocket.

[emil]

This one is similar to Sarah2013's puzzle.

There is no other $

The total charge for the room was $25. Each man paid $9. x 3 makes it $27. $25 went to the hotel and $2 in the bell boy's pocket.

[Sarah2013]

In response to my post:

The shirt was $97, $97/2=48.50. He gets back $3. If he makes initial payment of $2 to both parents, that means he expensed $49.50 on the shirt from his parents. $49.50 x 2 = $99. And he has the missing $1 in his hand to make the total of $100. He pays back $48.50×2=$97 plus the $2 (he initially paid) =$99 and he still has the $1 in his pocket….. Math solved.

This was my answer, it is yet to be proven right by the originator.

[Sarah2013]

In response to my post:

The shirt was $97, $97/2=48.50. He gets back $3. If he makes initial payment of $2 to both parents, that means he expensed $49.50 on the shirt from his parents. $49.50 x 2 = $99. And he has the missing $1 in his hand to make the total of $100. He pays back $48.50×2=$97 plus the $2 (he initially paid) =$99 and he still has the $1 in his pocket….. Math solved.

This was my answer, it is yet to be proven right by the originator.