- CreatorTopic
- January 7, 2013 at 4:46 AM#7066JoshuaParticipant
Budro dies and goes to Hell. He's sitting down there mildly content. Satan walks by, sees him and says, "What's with you?" He says, "This feels like a June day in Louisiana." Satan gets mad and goes over to the thermostate and turns it up. Later he comes by and Budro is smiling to himself. Satan goes, "What are you smiling about?" Budro says, "This feels like a July day down on the biyjou." Satan gets more angree and turns the thermostate up even higher. About a half hour later Satan walks by and Budro is kinda snickering now. He says, "It's hotter than Hell down here. What are you snickering about?" He says, "This feels like an August day down south." Satan goes over to the thermostate and reefs on it and breaks it. Things start getting cold, it starts icing up, eventually it starts snowing. Satan comes by and Budro is rolling with laughter on the ground, he's high fiving the demons, and generally causing a scene. Satan goes, "What's your problem. Before it was hotter than hell and now it's freezing. Why are you so excited?" He says, "Well obviously the Saints just won the Superbowl!"
Add your humorous story here!
- February 28, 2013 at 2:28 AM #18493
Love'n HoneyParticipantJoshua wrote:
A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.
"No!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"
I literally Lol'd
February 28, 2013 at 2:28 AM #50805
Love'n HoneyParticipantJoshua wrote:
A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.
"No!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"
I literally Lol'd
February 28, 2013 at 8:47 PM #18673
JoshuaParticipantNUMBERS OF THE BEAST
666 – The number of the beast
667 – neighbor of the beast
660 – Approximate number of the Beast
DCLXVI – Roman numeral of the Beast
666.0000 – Number of the High Precision Beast
0.666666 – Number of the Millibeast
/ 666 – Beast Common Denominator
666 ^ (-1) – Imaginary number of the Beast
1010011010 – Binary of the Beast
6, uh…what was that number again? – Number of the Blonde Beast
1-666 – Area code of the Beast
0666 – British area code of the Beast
00666 – Zip code of the Beast
$665.95 – Retail price of the Beast
$699.25 – Price of the Beast plus 5% state sales tax
$769.95 – Price of the Beast with all accessories and replacement soul
$656.66 – Walmart price of the Beast
$646.66 – Next week's Wal-Mart price of the Beast
Phillips 666 – Gasoline of the Beast
Route 666 – Way of the Beast
666 F – Oven temperature for roast Beast
666k – Retirement plan of the Beast
666 mg – Recommended Minimum Daily Requirement of Beast
6.66% – 5 year CD interest rate at First Beast National Bank
$666 – minimum deposit
666% – Interest rate charged by Tony the Beast, local loan shark
666iv – Local statute number regarding Beast parking
"If 666 Was 999" – recently discovered Jimi Hendrix outtake
DSM-666 (revised) – Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the Beast
Excel 6-6-6 – Spreadsheet of the Beast
Word 6.66 – Word Processor of the Beast
i66686 – CPU of the Beast
Win666 – Operating system of the Beast
666i – BMW of the Beast
today'sTHOT============================
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A thesaurus.
February 28, 2013 at 8:47 PM #50806
JoshuaParticipantNUMBERS OF THE BEAST
666 – The number of the beast
667 – neighbor of the beast
660 – Approximate number of the Beast
DCLXVI – Roman numeral of the Beast
666.0000 – Number of the High Precision Beast
0.666666 – Number of the Millibeast
/ 666 – Beast Common Denominator
666 ^ (-1) – Imaginary number of the Beast
1010011010 – Binary of the Beast
6, uh…what was that number again? – Number of the Blonde Beast
1-666 – Area code of the Beast
0666 – British area code of the Beast
00666 – Zip code of the Beast
$665.95 – Retail price of the Beast
$699.25 – Price of the Beast plus 5% state sales tax
$769.95 – Price of the Beast with all accessories and replacement soul
$656.66 – Walmart price of the Beast
$646.66 – Next week's Wal-Mart price of the Beast
Phillips 666 – Gasoline of the Beast
Route 666 – Way of the Beast
666 F – Oven temperature for roast Beast
666k – Retirement plan of the Beast
666 mg – Recommended Minimum Daily Requirement of Beast
6.66% – 5 year CD interest rate at First Beast National Bank
$666 – minimum deposit
666% – Interest rate charged by Tony the Beast, local loan shark
666iv – Local statute number regarding Beast parking
"If 666 Was 999" – recently discovered Jimi Hendrix outtake
DSM-666 (revised) – Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the Beast
Excel 6-6-6 – Spreadsheet of the Beast
Word 6.66 – Word Processor of the Beast
i66686 – CPU of the Beast
Win666 – Operating system of the Beast
666i – BMW of the Beast
today'sTHOT============================
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A thesaurus.
February 28, 2013 at 8:58 PM #18675
SimonParticipantlol
February 28, 2013 at 8:58 PM #50807
SimonParticipantlol
March 1, 2013 at 1:22 AM #18697
Love'n HoneyParticipant666 pixels – screen resolution of Beast PC
March 1, 2013 at 1:22 AM #50808
Love'n HoneyParticipant666 pixels – screen resolution of Beast PC
March 1, 2013 at 1:24 AM #50809
SimonParticipantthat’s obscenely small
March 1, 2013 at 1:24 AM #18698
SimonParticipantthat’s obscenely small
March 1, 2013 at 1:49 AM #50810
RahabParticipantHilarious!
March 1, 2013 at 1:49 AM #18701
RahabParticipantHilarious!
March 1, 2013 at 2:02 AM #18703
Love'n HoneyParticipantSimon wrote:
that's obscenely small
That's what she said..
March 1, 2013 at 2:02 AM #50811
Love'n HoneyParticipantSimon wrote:
that's obscenely small
That's what she said..
March 1, 2013 at 2:14 AM #50812
SimonParticipantROFL
March 1, 2013 at 2:14 AM #18705
SimonParticipantROFL
March 1, 2013 at 10:50 AM #18727
JoshuaParticipantGet ready to fall out of your chair laughing:
CHILDREARING Q&A
Q. Should I have a baby after 35?
A. No, 35 children is enough.
Q. I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A. With any luck, right after he finishes college.
Q. How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
A. If it's the flu, you'll get better.
Q. What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A.. For men to be the ones who get pregnant.
Q. What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A. Childbirth.
Q. My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A. So what's your question?
Q. How long is the average woman in labor?
A. Whatever she says divided by two.
Q. My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A. Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.
Q. When is the best time to get an epidural?
A. Right after you find out you're pregnant.
Q. Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A. Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.
Q. Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A. Yes, pregnancy.
Q. Does pregnancy cause headaches?
A. Pregnancy causes anything you want to blame it for.
Q. Do I have to have a baby shower?
A. Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.
Q. Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A. When the kids are in college
March 1, 2013 at 10:50 AM #50813
JoshuaParticipantGet ready to fall out of your chair laughing:
CHILDREARING Q&A
Q. Should I have a baby after 35?
A. No, 35 children is enough.
Q. I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A. With any luck, right after he finishes college.
Q. How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
A. If it's the flu, you'll get better.
Q. What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A.. For men to be the ones who get pregnant.
Q. What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A. Childbirth.
Q. My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A. So what's your question?
Q. How long is the average woman in labor?
A. Whatever she says divided by two.
Q. My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A. Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.
Q. When is the best time to get an epidural?
A. Right after you find out you're pregnant.
Q. Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A. Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.
Q. Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A. Yes, pregnancy.
Q. Does pregnancy cause headaches?
A. Pregnancy causes anything you want to blame it for.
Q. Do I have to have a baby shower?
A. Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.
Q. Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A. When the kids are in college
March 1, 2013 at 11:09 AM #18728
SimonParticipantlol
March 1, 2013 at 11:09 AM #50814
SimonParticipantlol
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