[Joshua]

Budro dies and goes to Hell. He's sitting down there mildly content. Satan walks by, sees him and says, "What's with you?" He says, "This feels like a June day in Louisiana." Satan gets mad and goes over to the thermostate and turns it up. Later he comes by and Budro is smiling to himself. Satan goes, "What are you smiling about?" Budro says, "This feels like a July day down on the biyjou." Satan gets more angree and turns the thermostate up even higher. About a half hour later Satan walks by and Budro is kinda snickering now. He says, "It's hotter than Hell down here. What are you snickering about?" He says, "This feels like an August day down south." Satan goes over to the thermostate and reefs on it and breaks it. Things start getting cold, it starts icing up, eventually it starts snowing. Satan comes by and Budro is rolling with laughter on the ground, he's high fiving the demons, and generally causing a scene. Satan goes, "What's your problem. Before it was hotter than hell and now it's freezing. Why are you so excited?" He says, "Well obviously the Saints just won the Superbowl!"

 

Add your humorous story here!

[Ram Koirala]

[Ram Koirala]

No his wife is just a house wife and Decon of church

[Ram Koirala]

No his wife is just a house wife and Decon of church

[emil]

@Ram Koirala – I do not want to diminish the importance of your post but I would like to point out that this is a humour thread. Not sure if you intended your post to be humourous.

Regarding the point you are making, I have sent you a PM.

[emil]

@Ram Koirala – I do not want to diminish the importance of your post but I would like to point out that this is a humour thread. Not sure if you intended your post to be humourous.

Regarding the point you are making, I have sent you a PM.

[Sarah2013]

Lol! Nice one, Simon.

[Sarah2013]

Lol! Nice one, Simon.

[emil]

hope I don't offend anyone with this one.

US Prez and the Queen

As Air Force One arrives at Heathrow Airport, President Obama strides to a warm and dignified reception from the Queen.

They are driven in a 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London, where they change to a magnificent 17th century carriage hitched to six white horses.

They continue on towards Buckingham Palace, waving to the thousands of cheering Britons; all is going well.

Suddenly the right rear horse lets fly with the most horrendous earth shattering breaking of wind ever heard in the British Empire.

The smell is atrocious and both passengers in the carriage must use handkerchiefs over their noses.

The thunderous roar shakes the coach, but the two dignitaries of State do their best to ignore the incident.

The Queen turns to President Obama: "Mr President, please accept my regrets… I am sure you understand there are some things that even a Queen cannot control."

Obama, mustering up his most "Presidential" tone replied: "Your Majesty, please … do not give the matter another thought… Until you mentioned it, I thought it was one of the horses."

[Simon]

Lol

[Simon]

A man in line at the bank kept falling over…when he got to a teller he asked for his balance.

[Joshua]

Here comes several funnies:

A guy was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the middle of a storm.  The night was rolling on and no car went by.  The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him.

Suddenly he saw a car coming toward him and stop.

Without thinking about it, the guy got into the back seat, closed the door and then realized there was nobody behind the wheel!  The car started slowly; the guy looked at the road and saw a curve coming his way.  Scared, he started to pray begging for his life.  He hadn't come out of shock, when just before he hit the curve, a hand appeared through the window and moved the wheel.   The guy, paralyzed in terror, watched how the hand appeared every time right before a curve.

Gathering his strength, the guy finally jumped out of the car and ran to the nearest town.  Wet and in shock, he went to a restaurant and started telling everybody about the horrible experience he went through.

A silence enveloped everybody when they realized the guy was serious.

About half an hour later, two guys walked in the same restaurant. They looked around for a table when one said to the other,

"Look John, that's the dummy who got in the car when we were pushing it."

 

 

Husband and wife had an argument. Wife called up her mom and said, "He fought with me again. I am coming to live with you."

Mom said, "No darling, he must pay for his mistake. I am coming to live with you."

 

 

Having grown up just outside New York City, I barely knew a cow from an ear of corn. Until, that is, I married a small town Ohio girl.

While I was in seminary school, I had a temporary assignment at a church in a rural community.

The day of my first sermon, I tried very hard to fit in. Maybe too hard.

With my wife sitting in the first pew, I began my discourse, "I never saw a cow until I met my wife."

 

 

An airhead was driving to California and saw a sign that said: Clean Restrooms Ahead.

By the time she finally reached the coast, she had scrubbed and polished 68 of them.

 

 

Questions

 

A man took his son fishing one day.  After a few hours in the boat with not much to do, the son started asking his father some questions. 

"How does the boat float?" he asked.

The man thought about the question for a moment, then said, "I don't really know, son."

"Well, how do fish breath underwater?"

The man scratched his head.  "I guess I don't know the answer to that one either."

"Why is the sky blue?" the boy persisted.

The father replied, "I really don't know, son."

The boy started to worry that his father was getting upset at all the questions.  "Do you mind me asking questions, Dad?"

His father immediately reassured him.  "No, of course not, son!  If you don't ask questions, you'll never learn anything!"

 

 

ONE WOMAN'S TOP 11 REASONS FOR GOING ON A WOMEN'S RETREAT

By Laurie Polich Short

1. I will be around people who use as many words a day as I do.

2. I will be amazingly unconcerned if there are any vegetables left on the plates of those around me.

3. I will not find Legos in my bed or trip on the Hulk when I go to the bathroom.

4. I will always be able to find someone to share a dessert. Or two. Or four. But in the end, each of us will only be having half a dessert.

5. I can keep the temperature as low as I want at night (this is especially beneficial for women over 50).

6. I will not have to explain my moods. And if I want to explain them, people will care.

7. When I share in my small group, no one will be checking scores on their iPhones.

8. No one around me will be afraid to ask directions to the dining hall.

9. I will always have company going to the restroom, and will actually have some of my most meaningful conversations there.

10. I will be able to go into any stall, and all of the toilet seats will be down.

AND finally…

11. Spending time away from the men in my life will help me appreciate them more when I come home. (Even if they turn on the football game when I am halfway through telling them about it.)

 

[Joshua]

I'm bumping this so that others can add some post to this. I believe that the WMSCOG removes a persons humanity in a way. This post helps bring some of the humor that has been taken out of peoples lives and puts it back in. For the people who look down on this perhaps those folks are the ones who need this the most. Please add your humor here. Jokes, funny stories, videos, and anything else you can think of.

[genny]

What is a dentist's favorite time of day?

2:30

🙂

[Love'n Honey]

Lol! Did you get that off of a popsicle stick?

[genny]

hehehe  I was at a school event on Saturday and heard it.

[Smurf]

I still don't get it >.<

[Love'n Honey]

floyd rose wrote:

I still don't get it >.<

 2:30… Tooth Hurty.

[Smurf]

omg this is so lame -_-

[Harry]

floyd rose wrote:

omg this is so lame -_-

OK Floyd, here goes:

These 2 pasters from the wmscog board a flight to Korea. (don't worry not on the sabbath)

They get on the plane and take their seats, a window and a middle seat.

Then, who boards the plane? None other than our very own STAINED, The All Knowing One, who takes his seat on the aisle next to them.

STAINED sits down kicks his shoes off wiggles his toes and puts his head back and gets ready for the flight.

Suddenly, the first paster says, I could really go for a sprite, STAINED, extending an olive branch, says, I'll get it for you. So STAINED gets up to get the paster a sprite. When he walks away the Paster picks up STAINED's shoe and spits in it, alot. When STAINED returns and gives him his sprite the other paster says, I could really go for a sprite too. So STAINED says, no problem, I'll get it for you and when STAINED goes to get the sprite, the paster spits in his other shoe, alot. STAINED brings back the sprite they drink the sprite and they all settle in for the flight.

When the plane lands, STAINED puts his shoes on and he immediately knows what they did!

He stands up and says, pasters, when is this going to stop! This hatred! This intolerance for eachothers religion! This spitting in shoes!….This p/e/e/ing in SPRITE !!!

[Smurf]

I would not have thought about peeing in his sprite. Like, even if I knew he was wms pastor. Besides, it has to be in a can, otherwise you can see it's a different color. And we all know once you open a can you can't seal it back shut :

But the spitting in shoes is totally a korean thing.

[Harry]

floyd rose wrote:

I would not have thought about peeing in his sprite. Like, even if I knew he was wms pastor. Besides, it has to be in a can, otherwise you can see it's a different color. And we all know once you open a can you can't seal it back shut :

But the spitting in shoes is totally a korean thing.

oh c'mon Floyd, I stole than from a book of mormons jokes