[Azula]

After 7 long years I have finally decided to walk out of the Church of God!

I was a  memeber in Cape Town and later Joburg here in South Africa.

And I would really like to thank all those who participate on the site for being the Good Samaritans and have kept the site going. I used to feel so isolated and alone , as would anyone who might have gone through this experience, but reading threads like "It's the Most Positive Place In the World" have truly helped me to realise that I'm not the only one who has fallen victim to the Pharisees and robbers of this Church.

It was through comments such, "Yes it is the most positive place in the world…in the beginning.  When everyone is all smiles and you are fresh meat.  Once you begin to question, or annoy (as you said) your "big brothers and sisters" by not giving in to the demands of the church, then it is a horror movie." that made me exclaim "YES!"   and , "…they teach you to test the spirits don't they ?  O.K. test them.  Skip your tithe for say 2 months.  Then miss a couple of Saturdays in between.  You'll see how much they love you…" that made laugh a bit and then but also made me realise it was all lies! 

And there was also the the response given by Joshua in the same post that showed just how foolish the idea of a Mother God was!

Thanks guys, you've manage to relive my fears and have given me the courage to overcome my fear of losing my salvation. The one important factor that opened me up to listen and read on is because some of you are former members and understand certain things that nobody else can; the pressure to bear fruit, keep the feast, fasting, being perfect, the ability to cry whenever the word sacrifice is mentioned or to be fired up with enthusiasm when you hear the word preach and so on. And because of that I could easily relate to the stories that I read.

To those who have family within this place then, all that I say is unconditional love conquers all. I'm a living testiment of this as my family has unconditionally supported me as I try to piece my life back together. (makes you wonder where the "real family" is now) Please don't give up on them they'll need you when it all falls apart.

Much Love

[genny]

[genny]

Thank you for sharing, Azula.  You give me hope! 🙂

[emil]

Well done Azula.

After 7 years, you would have a lot of wmscog baggage. A lot of debriefing required. You should talk long and frankly to a good, knowledgable Christian, if there is one in your family.

[Liberty]

Congratulations Azula! I know it took a great strength of character to walk away after 7 years. This is amazing, and better late then never. Don't become too overwhelmed or think too much about the 7 years that you have lost. Just look at them as a learning experience, and embrace that you are in a new phase of your life now. Take joy in the fact that you can live life how you want, and you don't have to be burdened about the fear ofgoing to hell, or worry about all the commandments and demands that you must follow. Now you can simply enjoy your life.

 

That's what helped me heal the most. I don't want to downplay the fact that you will feel hurt, confusion, anger, betrayal, disbelief and a range of other emotions. But for me, it helped most to think about all the good things I had going in my life, and to try to re-establish bonds with friends and family- bonds that had suffered during my time in the church. I didn't finish my schooling because of the church, so as soon as I got out, I made a goal to enroll back in school, work on developing a career, and enjoying hobbies. Remember, "there is always light at the end of the tunnel."

[Azula]

Liberty wrote:

That's what helped me heal the most. I don't want to downplay the fact that you will feel hurt, confusion, anger, betrayal, disbelief and a range of other emotions. But for me, it helped most to think about all the good things I had going in my life, and to try to re-establish bonds with friends and family- bonds that had suffered during my time in the church. I didn't finish my schooling because of the church, so as soon as I got out, I made a goal to enroll back in school, work on developing a career, and enjoying hobbies. Remember, "there is always light at the end of the tunnel."

It's eerily surprising how similar the experiences are because I went through the exact same things and am now busy trying to mend relationships and get on with my education! lol 

But as for the hurt and stuff this site has really gone a long way in the healing process. You won't believe the amount of time I actually spend here.

Thanks guys for the heartfelt support and encouragement.

And the church will say that they son't target students *smh*

[Joshua]

Wow Azula, thank you for taking to heart my thoughts about the possibility of there being a god the mother. I'm going to go look for that message and bring it forward for others to see. Thank you once again.

[Curious1]

Hi Azula, thanks for sharing your story, I'm very happy to read that you, as well as Liberty, both went back school, and got back with your friends and family. 

[Disturbed]

Welcome back Azula. I am living testimony that you will recover. I too spent many years as a member. When I left I had many fears. Time has passed and I am healing. Getting stronger every day. I pray for all of my wonderful friends who I left behind that they too will realize the lies. Going back to school and getting on with your life is wonderful. It will fill your mind so you don’t think about the church. I am happy that you also have the unconditional a love of your real family. It definitely helps a lot to have a support system. I hope that we have left enough positive notes for you and others here on this website. About 1 year ago my comments were very angry. I’m in a better place now and try to be as positive as I can. I’m glad you made it out!

[Azula]

Disturbed wrote:

I hope that we have left enough positive notes for you and others here on this website. About 1 year ago my comments were very angry. I'm in a better place now and try to be as positive as I can.  

Some of the comments were actually kinda funny! Or rather entertaining.

Seing how the loyal Zionist were fighting tooth and nail to defend person they don't actually know. One would swear as though they've known this woman all their lives. It was intersting to see how arrogant and self righteous they sounded and I really felt pity for them as they honestly still cannot see how they fit the description of the Pharisees perfectly. They are cursed and cannot see it! 

But I actually understand how hurt you must feel, but I also understand that as people we react differently to situations, but my hope for everyone is to atleast find peace because of all the tests that God has given me this has got to be one of the most difficult.