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[This debate was moved by admin from How The WMSCOG Turned My Life Upside Down Part 5 – My Marriage Destroyed – A Former Member’s Story to this forum thread on 08/03/2011]
The original comment was:
[Originally posted by MountainMom on August 2, 2011 at 10:20 AM here]
This is exactly like what has happened to my son and his wife due to his involvement in the COG. They do everything they can to cause trouble in marriages where one is a member and one is not. In cases where the two are only engaged, they break them up and then suggest that the member immediately get involved with someone else in the church for their “spiritual growth.” I wonder if they do this with the Korean members in order to get them U.S. citizenship. Also, being married to a member makes it harder to leave the church. They have this all thought out, don’t they.
[This response was originally posted by Nick as a reply to the above comment on August 3, 2011 at 12:53 AM]
I understand it can seem strange at first glance, but the arranged marriages happen between two Koreans a lot of the time as well. Members are not forced to get married it is only a suggestion and it is for their own benefit.
I'm sorry to hear that things did not work out between your son and his wife but you have to understand that he has chosen to aspire for eternal life over the joys of this earth.
One more thing I have to say is that you probably don't know much about the church's beliefs i'm assuming. It is not encouraged at all to break up families, it is the choice of the individual even though Jesus himself said that He would break up families:
Luke 9:61,62-"Still another said, 'I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say goodbye to my family.' Jesus replied, 'No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.' "
Luke 12:51,52,53-(Jesus talking)"Do you think I came to bring peace on earth? No, I tell you, but division. From now on there will be five in one family divided against each other, three against two and two against three. They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, etc…"
The above comment was approved and then moved, and MountainMom replied even though the above comment was not visible:
[Originally posted by MountainMom on August 3, 2011 at 2:31 PM]
I just got a personal reply from someone in the COG. This member said that it may seem strange to have marriages arranged at first glance, but it is done for their own good. Really? They aren’t smart enought to figure out what is good for them or who they want to marry? This person went on to say that marriages are arranged between Koreans as well, not just Korean to U.S. citizen. Well, of course, I figure anyone will do as long as they are members and can get a job and tithe. Of course, it is an added bonus if they marry a Korean who is already a member. That Korean then gets U.S. citizenship, it is harder for the man who married her to leave the church, and they get more members here to get more money for the church.
Then the person who replied said that I probably don’t know much about their church. Wrong. I have researched it extensively for two years now, have gone to the church several times, as has my husband, and have talked to members, parents and family of members, and former members. I most likely know more about the WMSCOG than the person who wrote to me.
The last comment made was that the COG does not try to break up families. Again, REALLY? Does a person have more or less time with their family after they join? If someone is a non member, do they see more or less of their husband or wife after they join. Their is a crazy amount of time spent at the church, and if no time is spent with their significant others, how can you say this does not cause problems?
One more thing, then, after saying that the church doesn’t break up families, the writer said, Jesus broke up families, and pointed to verses that pitted fathers against sons, mothers against daughters, etc., and said my son had decided on his own anyway, to pursue a higher calling. Why say the church doesn’t break up families and then try to justify it in the Bible if that is not what is happening?
If I ran over someone in my car but didn’t stop, and just said,”It was not my intention to hurt you,” then kept on going, would that be okay? They are still hurt, and I am still responsible, whether it was my intention or not. And my firm conviction is that many of the people are deceived, but some are actually aiming their figurative “cars” at innocent people on purpose knowing the damage incurred, and not really caring at all.
[Originally posted by MountainMom on 2011/08/04 at 12:48 AM]
If you check the comment by Nick, you will see that he says no one is forced to marry someone in the COG, it is only suggested, and it is for their own benefit. My question is, who decides it is for their own benefit? In some cases I know of, the Pastor decided who the person was to marry. Within one week of his breakup with a non-member, the Pastor suggested he get involved with a Korean girl in the church, one he hadn’t associated with before, and who could barely speak English. They were married within the month. Someone who attended the church said the man who married her appears very unhappy with this arranged marriage now. I think “their own benefit” applied to the church instead of the people involved. This is a prime example of what is called “undue influence.”
[Originally posted by nick on 2011/08/04 at 1:35 AM]
I did not mean any disrespect towards you or your family and by quoting biblical verses I was only trying to convey the importance of this matter and that it is not the goal of the church to tear families apart, rather it’s a part of being a true Christian (I’m not meaning you’re not Christian for wanting families to stay together by that).
I can see family is very important to you and again I am sorry that your son is no longer with his wife but slandering the WMSCOG on the internet will not improve your situation. Instead, what if your son was to see this? I don’t know your relationship with him but it certainly would not improve your bond with him.
This goes out to everyone who reads this as well. Think about why you feel the need to talk behind the church’s and/or loved ones back’s on the internet and the consequences your actions may have.
God bless you
Nick. I would gladly like to have an open discussion with any WMSCOG member. But when you ask them some hard hitting questions they respond with the same brainwashed statements such as: "God bless you", "In the same way", "Your spiritual eyes are not open". You should read the former member testimonies. They are very interesting and compelling. They will tell you a lot as to why some members left on their own and why others such as myself was kicked out. My story is under the "Get a job" section.
Nick, OF COURSE you meant disrespect to me and my family with your comments. You lectured me about how I should act and you called me a slanderer. The truth isn't slander, and everything I have said is God's truth. Also, I am not talking behind anyone's back. You are a church member and you found this site, didn't you? And if my son doesn't look on these sites (because he was instructed not to) then maybe someone will point it out to him like they did to this girl's husband. Now, why would they do that except to cause trouble between them?
I am glad you are here commenting though. I would like to ask a question from your first reply to me. You said that if a man/woman does marry a man/woman the pastor "suggests" to him, it is for their own benefit. Could you explain that?
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