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Hello everyone, I wanted to speak out on a topic that might be difficult to talk about as a family member who has a person dear to them in the wms. Out of the numerous times I have broken down over theis issue, as of recent, I had openly confided in someone I met this year who I had a collaborated assignment with. They asked me what was going on and I explained the best way I knew. I just summarized that I felt sad and angry because I knew my family member was in a cult. To be honest, although this person is intelligent in which I was talking to, I didn’t know if he knew what a cult was. I told him a bit about my upbringing and my wms family member’s upbringing. He listened and afterwards told me things about myself or rather asked and I answered. He basically told me that I needed to focus on myself, which I feel many family members of wms members need to do. But that is another topic. The next thing he told me, changed my complete perspective on the situation, he said that I and my guardian had been my wms family member’s cult all these years. Let me be clear. For wms members, the wms shelters you from the world; are the people who become closest to you; are the people you confide in and it’s basically all you know. Through my experience, for my upbringing, I can say my guardian and ems member are all that I knew. I had friends, but I didn’t do much, my guardian was very overprotective and strict but loving of course. As for my family member, they had friends as well but also seemed, at least in my point of view, to not care for socializing that much, but again had friends and ESPECIALLY had me and my guardian. My guardian in particular. Forward to now, not to psychoanalyze my wms family member, but maybe I was wrong and the indifference was maybe awkwardness around others. And when the wms appraoched my family member, it was something new, something that I have heard many ex members say. Although this part is nothing new. As for the you being your family member’s cult, can anyone somewhat agree to this?
Also, did you ever find yourself unintentionally manipulating your family member or guilt tripping them? I know I had found myself very sad that my family member didn’t hang out with me, that it was about MY feelings, almost how it’s always about yhe WMS’ agenda.
My point in making this thread is to share my experience and hope others find aimilarities. This isn’t so much about the wms, as it is the relationship you had/have with your family members. I don’t feel guilty for feeling the way I have or bad for the way Ive expressed myself with my family member. What’s done is done and like everyone here, I was and am new to the experience. My main point, is like Ive heard from many ex members, they left on their own, just like they got in on their own. It is very difficult for me not to help, but people go through many things or commit mistakes all the time and they have to learn to over come yhem on their own. Of course support and love is important.
With that said, it”s not about me or my feelings or how long I feel is too long for my family member to be involved in this. It’s up to them.
Which brings me to a question for an ex member, did you ever feel manipulated by your family member?
Maybe you didn’t because they weren’t. Or maybe you did and I don’t know…
I probably tried every form of coersion I could think of to try and get my loved one out. It was only love that really worked. Oh sure I kept asking very leading questions that would only lead to obvious conclusions but until I was able to swallow my pride, overcome my fear, and love the person in a way that this group never could was my loved one able to see the difference and choose to come out.
Ya maybe, except for the fact that you guys are legit family members while the wmscog is only out to get their time and money, filled with strangers who will ignore and ostrasize the ex-member should they choose to leave
I felt manipulated by friends because they were always telling me how I was hurting them and everything was always about them. They would say you don't understand how I feel. While at the same way I was feeling like their souls were doomed to hell and I had a save them. However, on the other hand my mom would just listen to whatever I said and act interested. It was her love and prayers and the help and love of a few others that got me out.
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