[Joshua]

Here at Muppet News Centeral according to official sources NOTHING actually happened! Now to our reporter in the field, Kermit in South Korea.

 

Kermit the Frog here reporting from South Korea where the ball has dropped and the New Year is here. As I bring this breaking news to you we are firmly into January 1, 2013. What's going on here? Officially NOTHING ACTUALLY HAPPENED! One thing that didn't actually happen is that the world didn't actually end. There are many cult groups in this area that kept their members in fear for years over this possibility. One such group has been back peddling about this for several months and now coming up with different excuses in order to cover for their lies. Many people stated earlier in 2012 that if the world didn't end that they would leave their cult group having realized that they have been deceived. With the new excuses over the last several months lets see if these folks are willing to be lied to some more. This is Kermit the Frog reporting from South Korea now back to Muppet News Centeral.

 

Once again folks officially NOTHING ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No end of the world, no end of an age, no end of preaching, no end. One thing that did officially happen is that these cult groups proved themselves to be false! Weather they are headed up by False Prophets or False Gods they have all been proven to be wrong! This is Muppet News Centeral saying HAPPY NEW YEAR! May the new year bring truth, light, and freedom for all of those who have been trapped by lies and blinded by deception and undue influence.

[Elievalkyrie]

[Elievalkyrie]

The WMSCOG must renew counting their census because I think they're gonna have a very large decline of followers. LOL. It's time to give back a piece of our pie. Happy New Year to you, Korean fake-god the mother!!! 

[MountainMom]

Happy New Year Everybody!  Now I'm just waiting to hear the lame excuses. 

[Joshua]

Kermit the Frog here with an updated news flash. Multiple independent verification from all over Europe reports that the world has not ended and continues to spin on. Cult members in these areas are living in denile trying to understand the retoric coming from their false gods and prophets. More to come as this story developes.

[Elievalkyrie]

Hey, does anyone have a solid proof that the wmscog predicted that the end of the world WAS on 2012? Like a book or a video or something?

[jellybean]

They don't let you record videos on the studies where they say it. You can only take notes after the first time you take it. 

[Elievalkyrie]

That is such a bummer.

[Joshua]

Urgent news flash from Muppet News Centeral. We go right to our coorespondent.

Waka, Waka, Waka, Fozzy Bear here just outside of a big Zion where many people are gathered inside waiting out the potential end of something? This stuff just writes itself waka, waka, waka. Unfortunatley for this group, they spent a great number of years running around like chicken little saying the end is coming, the end is coming!  This reporter can tell you that this group has been coming up with some very comidic material to explain away their previous statements about the world coming to an end. No one we interviewed can give us any real answers as to just what this group really believes in or how their momma god is not a fraud for letting so many stories get around this group that she is supposed to be the leader of. This is pure comedy genius at its best folks. By the way the world has not ended here. Enjoy the rest of your life without fear. This is Fozzy Bear saying Waka, Waka, Waka.

[Stained]

LMAO

[Joshua]

Urgent news flash from our affiliate on the west coast. Sam, are you there?

This is Sam the Eagle reporting to my fellow Americans live from the west coast of the great nation of the USA. I salute those of you, my fellow Americans, with the intelligence not to fall for the retoric of any of the end of the world cults. As a patriot of the great United States of America we have a proud tradition of NOT letting others tell us how to think and feel. We in the land of the free and the home of the brave have always lead the way in freedom of mind, soul, and spirit and we have been paid for our dedication by becoming the most powerful nation on the planet. By sticking to our faith in the one true God and valuing the family that we were born into we have become a nation of overcomers. Stand firm my brothers and sisters and push back against those who would try to enslave your mind and try to kill your spirit. If someone or some group tries to tell you that you can't understand something on your own or tries to convince you that they are the only ones with the truth you tell them that Sam the Eagle expects them to stop lying and to stop trying to con you. Stand up to the oppression that we as Americans fought so hard to escape. Stand up for your right to freedom. In God We Trust! Welcome to the new year and may your faith be firmly in the one that created you. God Bless you all and Good Night! 

[KC]

breaking news

mama have stopped the armageddon and mama being mama so swell and sweet said she just got to do that due to the numbers of her lost childs who havent been found, see? mama is good.

and about repeated failure of  her prophecy? gosh as a living breathing god on earth, mama can do or say anything she likes!

now mama will go south where mama think the piece of the pie is easier there, mama is wise, mama knows where the dough are.

[Joshua]

From Muppet News Center: The lies continue to flow as cults try to salvage their reputations in the wake of false predictions. Will the member allow themselves to be lied to some more? Well, for this reporter I hope not. So much of their humanity and freedom has been taken already. For those member of end of the world cults that are tuned into out broadcast I encourage you to leave now! Turn away from all of the lies and deception. Grab your family and friends and just leave. This is a new year, resolve not to let these people or these group deceive you anymore. Take control and make the right choice, leave the lies behind. From Muppet News Center, good luck.

[Joshua]

Dot Dot De Dot Dot This just in: It is confirmed, members of the WMSCOG in areas of California and Washington are starting to question what's being told to them from South Korea. Apperently the whole make more oil for your lamp line is not setting well with some of the member of this group. As for this reporter the picture seems scetchy at best. From prior conversations with members and former members of this group people are considered fruits buy this group. At times I can certainly agree. When these fruits start paying they are considered talents. You may remember the story about the servants and the talents. So at that point members are considered money. Now their being told to make more oil for their lamps. This is in reference to the bridesmaids waiting for the bridegroom to come claim his bride and take her to the wedding feast. So now their all bridesmaids. This is as clear of a picture that we at Muppet News Centeral can make out of this. No wonder people are questioning the retoric coming out of South Korea. Next this group will probably say once again, "Mother never said that." One thing is for certain, the smarter people in this group are leaving and taking their time, talent, and treasure with them. My hopes and prayers are with all of these people and my support goes out to those smart, brave, and intelligent people who have had enough of the lies and are reclaiming their freedom. We will keep reporting as more of this story developes. Stay tuned.

[Stained]

In further news from around the globe:  The sacred McRibb has been spotted all over North America and throughout the world.  The healing properties of the life giving sauce is far more substantial then in any past annual celebration.  Could this be a message ?  We here @ Ribb Headquarters believe it is a message from Ronald himself.  Only those who hear his voice will understand.  The secret is in the sauce. <Stay tuned> for further updates.  Bless you [BTB] where ever you are. 

[Joshua]

Mmmm, me like McRib. Me might give up cookies for a limited time for McRib. I wonder what McRib would taste like with cookie on it. Yum.

[Love'n Honey]

I've had the McRib and it's gross..

[Love'n Honey]

Hal wrote:

renita.payno wrote:

I've had the McRib and it's gross..

 I agree. It has the same material as gym mats have in it.

http://blog.sfgate.com/hleon/2011/11/04/the-mcrib-sandwich-and-a-yoga-mat-what-do-they-have-in-common/ 

 New or used? lol

[Joshua]

Dot, dot, de, dot, dot This is a Muppet Centeral News update. It seems that members of end of the world cults are not happy with the reasoning of their purspective cult groups. For a live update we go to the Great Gonzo somewhere in Europe. Gonzo, are you there? Hi folks, I'm standing outside of one of the bigger cults here in Europe. We have been talking to cult members about the recent failed prediction. There seems to be a recurring theme with everyone that we have talked to. They don't believe that their group holds the truth anymore. Many of them expressed a desire to leave. Hear are the main reasons that some of these folks have not left yet.

1) They don't know where else to go. (Even though their cult has failed them they still feel that they have gotten more truth from their cults than anywhere else.) 2) They have family and or friends that are still in and they don't want to lose them or abandon them. 3) Some have been convinced that this is some kind of test of faith. If they leave then they have failed. 4)Very few believe the retoric that their cult group is giving them and believe that they will go to Hell if they leave. 5) They don't want to be the first one to leave. If others started to leave they would join them.

These are all standard cult tactics that enslave and control people. Even as a fictional character I know that salvations is up to the individual. There's no such thing as a group salvation. Well one thing seems clear to this reporter, if good people would physically go speak to these members, show them love, understanding, and compassion then these people would see that there are other alternatives. Be their friend. Help them share their feelings with others who are trapped in these cults. Show them that there is truth outside of their cult groups. Perhaps they will be the first one to leave and the others will feel comfortable enough to follow them out. This is Gonzo saying Believe, step outside of your comfort zone, do the crazy thing and talk to folks about what you believe. It's a rush! Kinda like being shot out of a cannon!

[donttrustzang]

-__-

[Joshua]

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This just in! The Muppet News Room is a buzz with the realization that the truth has once again changed over at the WMSCOG. It seem that even though the WMS god the mother said that last year was the "Last Passover" they are going to go against her wishes and celebrate Passover anyway. Did god the mother lie when she said it was the last one? Are the WMSCOG members going against their own gods wishes? Did their god the mother sanction this Passover? As for this reporter I am interested to see how this fiasco developes. Some things you just can't make up! By the way; Gonzo has survived being shot out of a cannon again. Til next time, good night. May the God of the universe bless everyone with unchanging and unshakable truth.

[MountainMom]

Which Zion or Zions were told last year was the last Passover?  I don't think they told them that at the Chicago Zion, but they could have.  Just wondering because I am going to add it to my long list of misinformation they gave.