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I'm sad to tell you, that the Cult has finally won. My spouse and I are getting a divorce. After several years of struggling, I have to let my partner go, to protect myself. Taking my life back won't be easy, but on the other hand I'm glad. I stepped out of the Cult a few years ago, now I'm stepping out of the marriage. The inflluence on my partner by the Cult, was way to big and destructive. They can have him, I'm tired of fighting and restart a real life. For a long time I told myself, the eyes of my partner will open some day, that day has still to come, if ever. I'm sorry for all the members of this forum, who have loved ones still trapped in this manipulating group. I hope the loved ones will come out some day. I admire the familymembers who are still waiting for this to happen.
Hi curious. I was wondering, how deep their hold has been, and if your husband/wife is willing to hold on.
I am so sorry to hear this, Curious 1. It is so heartbreaking. I have heard of so many marriages torn apart by this cult. So destructive, so awful, so hard on everyone in the family. Sending good thoughts your way and hoping you can move on.
I am so sorry. I have been dealing w this for 9 yrs. I have no idea how to handle this and absolutely no support. No one understands and or can relate. Its really hard. I just wish this cult would be exposed for the awfulness that they are…I’m surprised its lasted this long. It feels like a nightmare and I dont blame you for calling it quits! If you dont mind me asking how long have you been married and do you have any kids?
Curious1- The impact of WMS does this. Ask him if he is willing to engage in counseling. If he says “No”, ask him “Why not?”. Help him to realize that there are licensed and accredited counselors that know how to help with the marriage. If he STILL won’t, paint him a picture that a biblical leader should be prepared to help and offer counseling. But, WMs won’t. And its all because of the Wms arrogance.
I see others here are mostly offering their sympathy, but bear with me because I am going to say something quite the opposite of "I'm sorry to hear that".
In fact, let me say how happy I am for you. As you said, this decision is necessary for you to protect yourself. I am happy that you have decided what's best for you, and that you have the will to take back your life and start a new life. Know that it is never too late to start something new, and that life is full of possibilities and you always have multiple options. It's indeed very fortunate that there are no kids involved, so it's alot easier for a clean separation. This new road that you choose to take will not be easy at the start, but I believe that there is a silver lining to everything.
It's time to take back your life. Many years later when you look back, you might even realise that this was indeed the correct decision. I wish you all the best.
Kai TIng wrote:
I see others here are mostly offering their sympathy, but bear with me because I am going to say something quite the opposite of "I'm sorry to hear that".
In fact, let me say how happy I am for you. As you said, this decision is necessary for you to protect yourself. I am happy that you have decided what's best for you, and that you have the will to take back your life and start a new life. Know that it is never too late to start something new, and that life is full of possibilities and you always have multiple options. It's indeed very fortunate that there are no kids involved, so it's alot easier for a clean separation. This new road that you choose to take will not be easy at the start, but I believe that there is a silver lining to everything.
It's time to take back your life. Many years later when you look back, you might even realise that this was indeed the correct decision. I wish you all the best.
I can see what you are saying very easily, Kai Ting. I think it is more accurate to say that everyone here is sorry to hear that you had to go through all you did, Curious 1, to get where you are. So many others have also had to go through heartbreak and struggle before they made a decision like you did, and move on with their lives. And where kids are involved, it can even be worse for all involved. One mother in particular that I am thinking of did all she could to hold on to her husband but finally had to let him go. He resorted to physical abuse to try to force her to accept the Wms, and even acknowledged that their two small children were not getting adequate care in the Wms child care area. Yet she was no longer allowed in the child care area to supervise her own kids! The lady watching them said she was a "trouble maker" when she insisted on good care, and she was told she could not be there when her children were. She really had no choice but to leave for the protection of those kids.
She still tried to salvage her marriage from the outside of the church, but they had her husband pretty well in hand, and she could not do it. Now she has moved on, and I think she is happier. She has heard that her ex husband looks terrible, and that he does not appear happy at all. It's really too bad for him, but she is doing great, has a great job, and she is ready to have a social life again as well.
There is no compromise when one spouse is a member and one is not. It always has to be the way of the member completely. And it seems the non member always tries and is willing to do some give and take, but the member spouse is advised not to go along with any of that. No wonder so many marriages fall apart in this group.
I like what KT said back there, “take back your life…” I agree.
As for the cog, they expect you to bow to them. Their will is greater, so they think. The church, or the member is taught not to give in to others outside the church, from what I remember. Its their will over others. They seem to me as being stiff necked.
So the huz is not doing well and is sad? It must be a tough reality check for him.
If the wife leaves, then it means the cog is not in the right. Maybe it will help the huz leave the church, even after its too late.
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