[Brian Taylor]

In hindsight of this article, two quotes come to mind upon refecting on weather or not I should continue what I am doing.

"I will not leave South Africa, nor will I surrender. Only through hardship, sacrifice and militant action can freedom be won. The struggle is my life. I will continue fighting for freedom until the end of my days." Nelson Mandela

and sometimes I feel like the following

"Hear me, my chiefs. I am tired. My heart is sick and sad. From where the sun now stands, I will fight no more forever" Chief Joseph

I have just as much hate for the WMS as I always have. But something recently happend in my life that makes me consider 'hanging up the gloves' so to speak. 

On one hand, even though I know that some people in this forum have done more then I ever will, I feel spent. I have made videos. Through the videos current members have contacted me and left the cult as a result of our conversations. I have told my story to the media. Met wonderful people on the forum: Mountain mom, Heinrich Hochalter, Joshua, Untouchable J, I love you guys. Maybe i've done all I'm gonna do.

But then on the other hand, the monster is still out there, and it must be stopped.

In his video, Chris Herbert said that as a result of the emptiness he felt leaving the WMS, that he "does not get excited about anything anymore". I can not express how much that is my situation right now. Nothing excites me……NOTHING. I sometimes cant even think of a reason to get out of bed in the morning lol. There is no more magic left in the world.

I will say however that the only thing that makes me feel alive again, is opposing the WMSCOG. Then one might feel poised to ask "what are you whining about dummy????" To which I would respond " to what end?"

Will Zanhg ever go to jail and be publicly humiliated as she deserves? will the WMS ever be dissolved and destroyed???? Will the hurt they've cause and the evil they have spread ever be atoned for? These are just the ends that I would personally like to see come to fruition. Are they realistic?  Because unitl then it is consantly checking text messages, emails, youtube comments and constantly being on the look out online and in public in vigilance against this group.

Maybe i'll hang up the gloves, maybe ill live out the rest of my life chuckling about the memory that I once believed that I was gonna fly from star to star and rule galaxies for eternity.

Or maybe I wont. Maybe it is my purpose. A question I pose to ALL: Will the WMSCOG matter after our lives are over????? this is the real question I am grappling with. Any input will be appreciated. Sorry if I sound like a downer.