[Joshua]

Budro dies and goes to Hell. He's sitting down there mildly content. Satan walks by, sees him and says, "What's with you?" He says, "This feels like a June day in Louisiana." Satan gets mad and goes over to the thermostate and turns it up. Later he comes by and Budro is smiling to himself. Satan goes, "What are you smiling about?" Budro says, "This feels like a July day down on the biyjou." Satan gets more angree and turns the thermostate up even higher. About a half hour later Satan walks by and Budro is kinda snickering now. He says, "It's hotter than Hell down here. What are you snickering about?" He says, "This feels like an August day down south." Satan goes over to the thermostate and reefs on it and breaks it. Things start getting cold, it starts icing up, eventually it starts snowing. Satan comes by and Budro is rolling with laughter on the ground, he's high fiving the demons, and generally causing a scene. Satan goes, "What's your problem. Before it was hotter than hell and now it's freezing. Why are you so excited?" He says, "Well obviously the Saints just won the Superbowl!"

 

Add your humorous story here!

[emil]

[emil]

I supposed not.

Note there was another funny thing in your post above. You paid $97 for SHIT.

"this is half the total value mom and dad had expensed towards the shit."

[emil]

I supposed not.

Note there was another funny thing in your post above. You paid $97 for SHIT.

"this is half the total value mom and dad had expensed towards the shit."

[Smurf]

emil wrote:

 

Note there was another funny thing in your post above. You paid $97 for SHIT.

"this is half the total value mom and dad had expensed towards the shit."

Yeah, Sarah. Good WMS analogy. 🙂

[Smurf]

emil wrote:

 

Note there was another funny thing in your post above. You paid $97 for SHIT.

"this is half the total value mom and dad had expensed towards the shit."

Yeah, Sarah. Good WMS analogy. 🙂

[Sarah2013]

Oops! Didn’t mean to use that word. I meant shirt. 🙂

[Sarah2013]

Oops! Didn’t mean to use that word. I meant shirt. 🙂

[Sarah2013]

Go Miami! Lol. All part of the humour.

[Sarah2013]

Go Miami! Lol. All part of the humour.

[Joshua]

I think that we have all been a little remiss on this topic. Here's a new funny for you!

Name Warning

 

 

 

On a street, where the speed is limited to 30 mph the police stop a driver.

"Not only have you been driving too fast, you've been passing cars where it is not allowed.  Your lights don't work, your tires all completely worn out.  This is surely going to cost you a lot.  What's your name?"

"Schtrathewisizeski Vocgefastilongchinic."

"Well, I'll let you go this time but don't do it again."

 

 

[Joshua]

I think that we have all been a little remiss on this topic. Here's a new funny for you!

Name Warning

 

 

 

On a street, where the speed is limited to 30 mph the police stop a driver.

"Not only have you been driving too fast, you've been passing cars where it is not allowed.  Your lights don't work, your tires all completely worn out.  This is surely going to cost you a lot.  What's your name?"

"Schtrathewisizeski Vocgefastilongchinic."

"Well, I'll let you go this time but don't do it again."

 

 

[Joshua]

Sunday School!?!

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.

Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, so she said, "Johnny, what's the matter?"

Little Johnny responded, "I have bad pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."

 

[Joshua]

Sunday School!?!

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.

Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, so she said, "Johnny, what's the matter?"

Little Johnny responded, "I have bad pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."

 

[Joshua]

Three in a row for me today but I think you will find this one is worth it!

WHAT THE AIRLINES HAVE TAUGHT ME ABOUT MARRIAGE

By Laurie Polich Short

Can we talk?

I feel like I'm in a bad marriage with United Airlines. I've been with them for 25 years, flown 1,245,000 miles, and most of the time it feels like they don't know I'm alive. In our first years together, they treated me like a queen. On my flight coming up this weekend, I may end up in the luggage bin. A "technical error" caused them to give away my seat.

Admittedly this is a first world problem. My friend Ephraim who lives in Haiti doesn't spend time thinking about service on airlines. He's got bigger things to think about like helping people eat. I try to think about that every time I look at the upgrade list and see that with my million mile status, I am #25 on the list.

On the grand scheme of things, a relationship with an airline is not something that should bother me. But when you've been committed to someone, it's disheartening when you feel cast aside. So here are some things I've learned from my relationship with United that I will use to keep the spark in my marriage:

– When you put your spouse on hold, don't try to placate them by singing the same old song. Especially when it's the same 5 bars you have been playing for 25 years.

– The longer you are together, the more bags you should be allowed.

– Don't send a card through UPS celebrating the years you've been together. Save the money and give your marriage an upgrade instead.

– Don't send them to another country when they call. They'll recognize the accent. Instead, fly them there for a prepaid vacation.

– When your spouse is checking in, don't send them to a machine. Extend human contact so they remember who they are married to.

– After 25 years, carry on bags are not only allowed, they are encouraged. There should be plenty of space for them.

– Don't spend all your money on pleasing the CEO. Your spouse has been with you longer and helped get you where you are.

– Money may be important, but loyalty keeps you together.

– Have the kind of marriage your spouse will talk to others about. Without swearing.

Like I said, in the grand scheme of things, a relationship with an airline is not something to lose sleep over. But these are things to think about in the relationships that are important to you. Especially if you want to keep them.

 

[Joshua]

Three in a row for me today but I think you will find this one is worth it!

WHAT THE AIRLINES HAVE TAUGHT ME ABOUT MARRIAGE

By Laurie Polich Short

Can we talk?

I feel like I'm in a bad marriage with United Airlines. I've been with them for 25 years, flown 1,245,000 miles, and most of the time it feels like they don't know I'm alive. In our first years together, they treated me like a queen. On my flight coming up this weekend, I may end up in the luggage bin. A "technical error" caused them to give away my seat.

Admittedly this is a first world problem. My friend Ephraim who lives in Haiti doesn't spend time thinking about service on airlines. He's got bigger things to think about like helping people eat. I try to think about that every time I look at the upgrade list and see that with my million mile status, I am #25 on the list.

On the grand scheme of things, a relationship with an airline is not something that should bother me. But when you've been committed to someone, it's disheartening when you feel cast aside. So here are some things I've learned from my relationship with United that I will use to keep the spark in my marriage:

– When you put your spouse on hold, don't try to placate them by singing the same old song. Especially when it's the same 5 bars you have been playing for 25 years.

– The longer you are together, the more bags you should be allowed.

– Don't send a card through UPS celebrating the years you've been together. Save the money and give your marriage an upgrade instead.

– Don't send them to another country when they call. They'll recognize the accent. Instead, fly them there for a prepaid vacation.

– When your spouse is checking in, don't send them to a machine. Extend human contact so they remember who they are married to.

– After 25 years, carry on bags are not only allowed, they are encouraged. There should be plenty of space for them.

– Don't spend all your money on pleasing the CEO. Your spouse has been with you longer and helped get you where you are.

– Money may be important, but loyalty keeps you together.

– Have the kind of marriage your spouse will talk to others about. Without swearing.

Like I said, in the grand scheme of things, a relationship with an airline is not something to lose sleep over. But these are things to think about in the relationships that are important to you. Especially if you want to keep them.

 

[Joshua]

We have all neglected our humorous side for a while. Here's one to kick start us again!

10 SIGNS YOU MAY NOT BE READING YOUR BIBLE ENOUGH

10) You open up your Bible in church and a huge dust cloud rises.

9) You think Abraham, Isaac & Jacob may have had a few hit songs during the 60's.

8) You open to the Gospel of Luke and a WWII Savings Bond falls out.

7) Your favorite Old Testament patriarch is Hercules.

6) A small family of woodchucks has taken up residence in the Psalms of your Bible.

5) You become frustrated because Charlton Heston isn't listed in either the Concordance or the Table of Contents.

4) Catching the kids reading the Song of Solomon, you demand: "Who gave you this stuff?"

3) You think the Minor Prophets worked in the quarries.

2) You keep falling for it every time when Pastor tells you to turn to Second Opinions.

And the number one sign you may not be reading your Bible enough:

1) The kids keep asking too many questions about your usual bedtime story: "Jonah the Shepherd Boy and His Ark of Many Colors."

 

 

I'm sure that we could add some things about mistranslating scriptures that could be really humorous as well.

[Joshua]

We have all neglected our humorous side for a while. Here's one to kick start us again!

10 SIGNS YOU MAY NOT BE READING YOUR BIBLE ENOUGH

10) You open up your Bible in church and a huge dust cloud rises.

9) You think Abraham, Isaac & Jacob may have had a few hit songs during the 60's.

8) You open to the Gospel of Luke and a WWII Savings Bond falls out.

7) Your favorite Old Testament patriarch is Hercules.

6) A small family of woodchucks has taken up residence in the Psalms of your Bible.

5) You become frustrated because Charlton Heston isn't listed in either the Concordance or the Table of Contents.

4) Catching the kids reading the Song of Solomon, you demand: "Who gave you this stuff?"

3) You think the Minor Prophets worked in the quarries.

2) You keep falling for it every time when Pastor tells you to turn to Second Opinions.

And the number one sign you may not be reading your Bible enough:

1) The kids keep asking too many questions about your usual bedtime story: "Jonah the Shepherd Boy and His Ark of Many Colors."

 

 

I'm sure that we could add some things about mistranslating scriptures that could be really humorous as well.

[emil]

Lol for the last one, specially the #1 item.

I have read all the other jokes before.

[emil]

Lol for the last one, specially the #1 item.

I have read all the other jokes before.

[Joshua]

Come on folks. I'm not the only humorous one here.

[Joshua]

Come on folks. I'm not the only humorous one here.