- Topic
Budro dies and goes to Hell. He's sitting down there mildly content. Satan walks by, sees him and says, "What's with you?" He says, "This feels like a June day in Louisiana." Satan gets mad and goes over to the thermostate and turns it up. Later he comes by and Budro is smiling to himself. Satan goes, "What are you smiling about?" Budro says, "This feels like a July day down on the biyjou." Satan gets more angree and turns the thermostate up even higher. About a half hour later Satan walks by and Budro is kinda snickering now. He says, "It's hotter than Hell down here. What are you snickering about?" He says, "This feels like an August day down south." Satan goes over to the thermostate and reefs on it and breaks it. Things start getting cold, it starts icing up, eventually it starts snowing. Satan comes by and Budro is rolling with laughter on the ground, he's high fiving the demons, and generally causing a scene. Satan goes, "What's your problem. Before it was hotter than hell and now it's freezing. Why are you so excited?" He says, "Well obviously the Saints just won the Superbowl!"
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Rofl
Rofl
That’s funny.
That’s funny.
If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman.
He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer's credibility …
Q: 'Officer — did you see my client fleeing the scene?'
A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.'
Q: 'Officer, who provided this description?'
A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'
Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'
A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'
Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'
A: 'Yes sir, we do!'
Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'
A: 'Yes, sir, I do.'
Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'
A: 'Yes, sir.'
Q: 'Now, why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'
A: 'You see, sir, we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'
If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman.
He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer's credibility …
Q: 'Officer — did you see my client fleeing the scene?'
A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.'
Q: 'Officer, who provided this description?'
A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'
Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'
A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'
Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'
A: 'Yes sir, we do!'
Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'
A: 'Yes, sir, I do.'
Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'
A: 'Yes, sir.'
Q: 'Now, why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'
A: 'You see, sir, we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'
Good one Simon
Good one Simon
Funny.
Funny.
During these serious and troubled times, people of all faiths should remember these four great truths:
1. Muslims do not recognize Jews as God's Chosen People.
2. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
3. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian world.
4. Christians do not recognize each other at the liquor store.
Hey it's only a joke and I did not invent it.
During these serious and troubled times, people of all faiths should remember these four great truths:
1. Muslims do not recognize Jews as God's Chosen People.
2. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
3. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian world.
4. Christians do not recognize each other at the liquor store.
Hey it's only a joke and I did not invent it.
Lol!!
Lol!!
This one is dedicated to my dad. Used to be his fave joke about 40 years ago. He was rather fond of the Jesuits at the expense of the more conservative diocesan priests.
A Jesuit and a diocesan priest were arguing about the propriety of smoking and praying at the same time. The Jesuit says it is ok but the diocesan priest insists it is not. So they decide they will ask the bishop for his opinion.
Diocesan priest to bishop: Is it ok to smoke while I pray?
Bishop: No way.
Later the Jesuit approaches the bishop.
Jesuit: Is it ok for me to pray while I smoke?
Bishop: Sure. You can pray any time.
My dad was a smoker as you may have guessed. ๐
This one is dedicated to my dad. Used to be his fave joke about 40 years ago. He was rather fond of the Jesuits at the expense of the more conservative diocesan priests.
A Jesuit and a diocesan priest were arguing about the propriety of smoking and praying at the same time. The Jesuit says it is ok but the diocesan priest insists it is not. So they decide they will ask the bishop for his opinion.
Diocesan priest to bishop: Is it ok to smoke while I pray?
Bishop: No way.
Later the Jesuit approaches the bishop.
Jesuit: Is it ok for me to pray while I smoke?
Bishop: Sure. You can pray any time.
My dad was a smoker as you may have guessed. ๐
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