Let's put some humor in here! - Examining the World Mission Society Church of God

Creator
Topic
January 7, 2013 at 4:46 AM#7066
Joshua
Participant
Budro dies and goes to Hell. He's sitting down there mildly content. Satan walks by, sees him and says, "What's with you?" He says, "This feels like a June day in Louisiana." Satan gets mad and goes over to the thermostate and turns it up. Later he comes by and Budro is smiling to himself. Satan goes, "What are you smiling about?" Budro says, "This feels like a July day down on the biyjou." Satan gets more angree and turns the thermostate up even higher. About a half hour later Satan walks by and Budro is kinda snickering now. He says, "It's hotter than Hell down here. What are you snickering about?" He says, "This feels like an August day down south." Satan goes over to the thermostate and reefs on it and breaks it. Things start getting cold, it starts icing up, eventually it starts snowing. Satan comes by and Budro is rolling with laughter on the ground, he's high fiving the demons, and generally causing a scene. Satan goes, "What's your problem. Before it was hotter than hell and now it's freezing. Why are you so excited?" He says, "Well obviously the Saints just won the Superbowl!"

Add your humorous story here!

March 6, 2013 at 9:25 AM #50815

Joshua
Participant
A little boy found the old family Bible and started thumbing through the pages. As he was turning the yellowed pages, a pressed tree leaf fell out.
He exclaimed, "Hey, this must be where Adam and Eve left their clothes!"
today'sTHOT============================
What if the Indiana Jones movies are just the dreams of Han Solo while frozen in carbonite??
March 6, 2013 at 9:25 AM #19034

Joshua
Participant
A little boy found the old family Bible and started thumbing through the pages. As he was turning the yellowed pages, a pressed tree leaf fell out.
He exclaimed, "Hey, this must be where Adam and Eve left their clothes!"
today'sTHOT============================
What if the Indiana Jones movies are just the dreams of Han Solo while frozen in carbonite??
March 7, 2013 at 10:16 PM #19423

Joshua
Participant
A dyslexic guy walks into a bra.
March 7, 2013 at 10:16 PM #50816

Joshua
Participant
A dyslexic guy walks into a bra.
March 13, 2013 at 2:57 AM #50817

Love'n Honey
Participant
I read this and I literally lol'd.
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
March 13, 2013 at 2:57 AM #20014

Love'n Honey
Participant
I read this and I literally lol'd.
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
March 13, 2013 at 3:27 AM #20017

Joshua
Participant
Talk about a telephone type of funny, read this:
Eclipse Memos

Memo from Director General to Manager:
Today at 11 o'clock there will be a total eclipse of the sun. This is when the sun disappears behind the moon for two minutes. As this is something that cannot be seen every day, time will be allowed for employees to view the eclipse in the car park. Staff should meet in the car park at ten to eleven, when I will deliver a short speech introducing the eclipse, and giving some background information. Safety goggles will be made available at a small cost.
Memo from Manager to Department Head:
Today at ten to eleven, all staff should meet in the car park. This will be followed by a total eclipse of the sun, which will disappear for two minutes. For a moderate cost, this will be made safe with goggles. The Director General will deliver a short speech beforehand to give us all some background information. This is not something that can be seen every day.
Memo from Department Head to Floor Manager:
The Director General will today deliver a short speech to make the sun disappear for two minutes in the eclipse. This is something that cannot be seen every day, so staff will meet in the car park at ten or eleven. This will be safe, if you pay a moderate cost.
Memo From Floor Manager to Supervisor:
Ten or eleven staff are to go to the car park, where the Director General will eclipse the sun for two minutes. This doesn't happen every day. It will be safe, but it will cost you.
Memo from Supervisor to staff:
Some staff will go to the car park today to see the Director general disappear. It is a pity this doesn't happen every day.
March 13, 2013 at 3:27 AM #50818

Joshua
Participant
Talk about a telephone type of funny, read this:
Eclipse Memos

Memo from Director General to Manager:
Today at 11 o'clock there will be a total eclipse of the sun. This is when the sun disappears behind the moon for two minutes. As this is something that cannot be seen every day, time will be allowed for employees to view the eclipse in the car park. Staff should meet in the car park at ten to eleven, when I will deliver a short speech introducing the eclipse, and giving some background information. Safety goggles will be made available at a small cost.
Memo from Manager to Department Head:
Today at ten to eleven, all staff should meet in the car park. This will be followed by a total eclipse of the sun, which will disappear for two minutes. For a moderate cost, this will be made safe with goggles. The Director General will deliver a short speech beforehand to give us all some background information. This is not something that can be seen every day.
Memo from Department Head to Floor Manager:
The Director General will today deliver a short speech to make the sun disappear for two minutes in the eclipse. This is something that cannot be seen every day, so staff will meet in the car park at ten or eleven. This will be safe, if you pay a moderate cost.
Memo From Floor Manager to Supervisor:
Ten or eleven staff are to go to the car park, where the Director General will eclipse the sun for two minutes. This doesn't happen every day. It will be safe, but it will cost you.
Memo from Supervisor to staff:
Some staff will go to the car park today to see the Director general disappear. It is a pity this doesn't happen every day.
March 13, 2013 at 6:30 AM #50819

Liberty
Participant
LOL! That's hilarious! The Department Head was the one who really dropped the ball though.
March 13, 2013 at 6:30 AM #20032

Liberty
Participant
LOL! That's hilarious! The Department Head was the one who really dropped the ball though.
March 14, 2013 at 1:50 AM #50820

Joshua
Participant
 
Investments 

STOCK: A magical piece of paper that is worth $33.75 until the moment you buy it. It will then be worth $8.50.
BOND: What you had with your spouse until you pawned his/her golf clubs to invest in Amazon.com.
BROKER: The person you trust to help you make major financial decisions.
Please note the first five letters of this word spell "Broke".
BEAR: What your trade account and wallet will be when you take a flyer on that hot stock tip your secretary gave you.
BULL: What your broker uses to explain why your mutual funds tanked during the last quarter.
MARGIN: Where you scribble the latest quotes when you're supposed to be listening to your manager's presentation.
SHORT POSITION: A type of trade where, in theory, a person sells stocks he doesn't actually own. Since this also only ever works in theory, a short position is what a person usually ends up being in (i.e. "The rent, sir?
Hahaha, well, I'm a little short this month.").
COMMISSION: The only reliable way to make money on the stock market, which is why your broker charges you one.
YAK: What you do into a pail when you discover your stocks have plunged and your broker is making a margin call.
March 14, 2013 at 1:50 AM #20122

Joshua
Participant
 
Investments 

STOCK: A magical piece of paper that is worth $33.75 until the moment you buy it. It will then be worth $8.50.
BOND: What you had with your spouse until you pawned his/her golf clubs to invest in Amazon.com.
BROKER: The person you trust to help you make major financial decisions.
Please note the first five letters of this word spell "Broke".
BEAR: What your trade account and wallet will be when you take a flyer on that hot stock tip your secretary gave you.
BULL: What your broker uses to explain why your mutual funds tanked during the last quarter.
MARGIN: Where you scribble the latest quotes when you're supposed to be listening to your manager's presentation.
SHORT POSITION: A type of trade where, in theory, a person sells stocks he doesn't actually own. Since this also only ever works in theory, a short position is what a person usually ends up being in (i.e. "The rent, sir?
Hahaha, well, I'm a little short this month.").
COMMISSION: The only reliable way to make money on the stock market, which is why your broker charges you one.
YAK: What you do into a pail when you discover your stocks have plunged and your broker is making a margin call.
March 14, 2013 at 1:54 AM #50821

Joshua
Participant
Sorry for all of the in the previous post. This seems to happen when I cut and paste things here. Please read between the lines and you will get the joke!
March 14, 2013 at 1:54 AM #20125

Joshua
Participant
Sorry for all of the in the previous post. This seems to happen when I cut and paste things here. Please read between the lines and you will get the joke!
March 14, 2013 at 3:29 AM #50822

Simon
Participant
on the left most button of the tool bar you can copy paste as plain text instead
March 14, 2013 at 3:29 AM #20147

Simon
Participant
on the left most button of the tool bar you can copy paste as plain text instead
March 14, 2013 at 5:32 AM #20183

genny
Participant
You can go back and edit too, and delete those parts.
I enjoy this thread. Thanks for all the chuckles. 🙂
March 14, 2013 at 5:32 AM #50823

genny
Participant
You can go back and edit too, and delete those parts.
I enjoy this thread. Thanks for all the chuckles. 🙂
March 14, 2013 at 5:39 AM #50824

Sarah2013
Participant
Simon Wrote:
I wonder if Sarah likes your joke Joshua lol
Simon, I have a really good sense of humour. I’m so not hard up. Some of the jokes knock me off my feet.
March 14, 2013 at 5:39 AM #20187

Sarah2013
Participant
Simon Wrote:
I wonder if Sarah likes your joke Joshua lol
Simon, I have a really good sense of humour. I’m so not hard up. Some of the jokes knock me off my feet.

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