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Hello. I've been following the site/forum for over a year now. Every time I'd start to create an account I'd back out simply in respect for my family. They are still heavily involved with the WMSCOG. Crazy I used to think I could just tolerate them being a part of the church while I stood on the sidelines so to speak. You know they say hindsight is 20/20, but looking back on when I left the church I was only thinking about myself. I was so high strung, repressed, caged, etc etc…that I needed to get out. I honestly thought it would be no problem for us to be divided when it came to spirituality/religion. See at that time I didn't look at the WMSCOG as a "cult". I had my problems with the bible and simply all other religions in regards to myself. I didn't have an issue with "other people" going to church, including my family. Looking back on it…I was like "hey it's making them happy and feeling like they're serving a noble cause". Which again at the time I respected. Being in the service I value that concept and back then I looked at the two as one in the same. I didn't start to see the fallacies/cult like behavior until a few years later. In hindsight…I feel that if I would've challenged them and the church in the dialogue I'm equipped with now, things may have been different. Or may not. Who knows right? I now have a divided home. More so than ever before. Divorce is certainly going to be the outcome in the following year. It's taking me some time to be able to handle that potential reality. I've also been diagnosed with a form of PTSD. It's labeled Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It's a different dynamic than say, what service members go through in combat. The symptoms and the side effects are similar if not mirror imaged at times. Suicidal ideations, high risk behavior, substance abuse, lashing out, hostility, feelings of hopelessness, etc etc. At first I thought it was bull sh*t. I used to repress everything that had anything to do with the church. Family, friends, work….I'm sure you all know and have been there. I'm feeling better and have sought out treatment and therapy. Every time I tell my story to someone new, the expression is always the same. Shock and disbelief.
I'm going to end this for now. I didn't plan on sharing this much. It just seemed to flow though.
Thanks for listening.
LG, welcome to the site. I too have been observing this site from the sidelines for a couple months until I decided to post a week ago. I am sorry to hear aboit your hurt, and the amount of pain you are going through. And also the trauma. It all sounds so overwhelming, but you also sound like a very STRONG AND SINCERE person. I just want to say that people here have welcomed me with reaching out and sharing. I am a family member of a wms member. I want you to know that I am glad you are out and that we I am here to offer support, and understanding
Thank you for sharing, I understand how difficult it might have been for you.
LG, welcome to the site. I too have been observing this site from the sidelines for a couple months until I decided to post a week ago. I am sorry to hear aboit your hurt, and the amount of pain you are going through. And also the trauma. It all sounds so overwhelming, but you also sound like a very STRONG AND SINCERE person. I just want to say that people here have welcomed me with reaching out and sharing. I am a family member of a wms member. I want you to know that I am glad you are out and that we I am here to offer support, and understanding
Thank you for sharing, I understand how difficult it might have been for you.
LoG, I have heard of many other former members who have been diagnosed with PTSD
I'm glad you got the help you needed
LG, I'm so sorry to hear of your struggles. It's good for us family members to be able to support each other in this. I've tried talking to friends about it, but unless they've gone through a similar experience, as much as they might want to help, it's hard for them to really understand.
I'm glad you're here.
Welcome, LoG. Sorry to hear about what has happened. I would say honestly, dont give up on your loved Ones. I had a loving mother and Fraternity Brothers that stuck by me and my family. Br encouraged in all things.
Thank you for your words LG, and yes I believe with love I will help my loved obr but I agree, although it’s difficult, it is and will be their ultimate choice. I have been there with the words of disdain and hate. And although youve experienced it longer and are going through separation. I also feel the only way you’ll show love is by loving yourself and making yourself happy and understand and accepting what you went through, without looking back. After that, is when you can show your loved one the same, because you did it with yourself, which is hardest to do.
Hello LG. Sounds like you are facing a difficult circumstances ahead. I pray you will be able to overcome your situation and get better. How do you feel being away from the WMS? Are your negative feels going away?
Are your negative *feelings going away?
Mayor and Mike wrote:
Are your negative *feelings going away?
Honestly, Mayor, what do you think? I hope the best for LG, and I'm sure you do too. He is doing the right things to get better, and I hope it continues along those lines. However, it will be awhile, don't you think?
LambofGod wrote:
It's day by day. You have to remember I see it everyday I come home to my family. See the joy and happiness in their eyes when they go to church. Knowing what I know….and not being able to convince them. With that being said I haven't been doing it in the most postive of ways for the past few years. As stated above I went through a really bad time with substance abuse and anger issues. So even with the best intentions….when your only tool is a hammer, everything looks like a nail ya know?
I feel terrible for you having to deal with that every single day. You can't get away from it at all, and that is so hard. I don't see my son every day, and even though it isn't easy, it's easier than having to deal with that on a daily basis. No wonder you had the issues you had.
I think that at some point in dealing with this many feel that they would do anything, ANYTHING, to stop feeling the emotions they experience in this situation. You get tired of the constant pain, frustration, and anguish. I can understand that.
I think too much exposure to the scorching sun gets you burned. And being away from the sun gets you better. And looking back, I think that attending third day and seventh day worship is somehow direct exposure to these negative feelings, emotions. I’ve received much negative emotions as well. As LG mentions, I too repressed them. Its this church, and it’s very bad.
Thanks for sharing your testimony LG. Overcome and get better. You can do it.
Mayor and Mike wrote:
I think too much exposure to the scorching sun gets you burned. And being away from the sun gets you better. And looking back, I think that attending third day and seventh day worship is somehow direct exposure to these negative feelings, emotions. I've received much negative emotions as well. As LG mentions, I too repressed them. Its this church, and it's very bad.
Thanks for sharing your testimony LG. Overcome and get better. You can do it.
He is right, LG. It does get better. Hang in there. If you ever want to talk, send me a PM. I'll be glad to help you any way possible. So would anyone on this site who is also dealing with this group.
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