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suppose i didn't want to fight, scream, yell etc. I just wanted my loved one back, he hasn't been with the WMSCOG very long, he doesn't have a lot of money. Our family had gone through a lot of stress, he had gone through a lot of stress. He was vulnerable, I get it. Now we all just want him back. So my question is, can i just very politely go to the paster and ask him to please release my son? If i did that, what do you think would happen?
He would take offense
Pretty much, yes. Going to the church should not be on your list of things to do.
No I don't mind. =)
Research facts, not opinions, about what the church is doing or teaching. Also, read up on how to approach someone in a cult. Don't lose communication! Ever!
My experience would be that the pastor would be nice to your face, and the pastor would just say your loved one wanted to go and it was his choice. Or the pastor might say come to Zion and discuss it. But behind your back, they would step up his indoctrination. This happened with my relative. The pastor was told all the problems the church was causing in his marriage, his job, his relationships with his family, and so forth. The pastor was asked very nicely to please stop with the demands that were destroying their marriage. But then it got even worse! The time commitment ( that the family member said was causing major problems) became much more demanding. The money demands became greater, and my relative preached even more to all of us. It was awful.
I suggest you very calmly try to have a sit down with him, and see if you can get him to look at this site. Since he hasn't been in long, you might be able to talk to him. Don't insult the church members, don't get frustrated with him, if you can help it. Just talk with concern and love. And please, don't be surprised and hurt if he acts like he believes them over you. They have fooled him, so don't take it out on him if you can help it. It is hard, I know, but that is one of the ways they get them to separate from you. They tell the member that their family will react in a very bad way, and that they need to be strong in the face of the "devil coming in the form of their family" to keep them from church. It is a pre-emptive strike to get the member to think they are always right: See? We told you your family wouldn't like us, and they don't! We know EVERYTHING!
renita.payno wrote:
He would take offense
Agreed. You'd likely get told that we fight for our brothers and sisters.
Vulnerable may or may not have been the case.
Furthermore, I would suggest that getting him out is not the direct answer. Your loved one has gone through a psychological and physiological process that some describe as "snaps" an individual – a resetting of the brain so-to-speak. Unsnapping can reset the brain, but the negative side is that the individual will be open for new influence. That may sound great to the outsider but the last thing one would want to do is mirror the original manipulation and thus become manipulators of love – that's still end justifies the means.
Take every opportunity to love this person and educate them when possible. Never attack a group, its leader, or its doctrine. You're likely in for a long road so know that up front. Your loved one is normal*; if there was something wrong with them psychologically then thought reform would not have worked.
Lastly, it's not their faith, it's their thinking. Exercise the brain.
Good luck.
*by normal I mean normal in the sense of being recruitable. You will come to notice that – like waves on the ocean – this person will sometimes be more "churchy" and sometimes more "the old self". I doubt he ever notices the difference, but you will come to spot it. Flow with both or find yourself on currents not of your choosing; don't pretend to control ocean waves at any stage of the game, its not possible to control waves but it is possible to swim and surf them.
Renita is right with her advice. Keep communication no matter what.
And yes, this usually turns out to be a marathon, not a sprint, so pace yourself.
I love when people say I'm right. =)
Haha, me too!
Np
You described what I felt facing this situation in the beginning. Helpless, and may I add, hopeless, after a while. The very words that people use to describe depression, which I also experienced for the first time in my life. I felt alone in this, as well. This site, and the support of some key people literally saved me.
Feel free to PM me any time. You are definitely not alone, and we can help.
Harry wrote:
tell my son i'm satan?
perhaps in such a way as the individual would come to believe it, yes.
Harry wrote:
Take offense? and then what, ask me to leave?
If it were me I'd be sizing you up and finding your weaknesses.
Harry wrote:
take offense and then what?
Figuring out how to get the individual to stop spending time with you.
Get this straight right now. The power is in someone elses hands. Play nice and don't be a threat and stay off the radar. Love, educate, love, educate. Debating scripture will get you nowhere so if you've been watching youtube videos from your keywords that's all you will find and imo its a waste of your time to watch or debate.
If you consider professional help, shop around. There is a bigger availability of help than will appear at first. Read Dr. Singer's book. She's one of the pioneers in the field.
Steve Hassan's book, "Releasing the Bonds" is another good one.
Don't hate me for saying this, but I find most mind controlling techniques to be similar to animal conditioning. Why not counter it with the same?
Getting members out one by one is tiring… I say we gather up and do an intervention straight on Mother. Go for the main source… that's how you unplugg them all. At least in the movies.
Yea, let's take a field trip.
Harry, check out the new post about split personalities. it might be helpful.
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