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I just watched a movie that talked about forgiveness. What can I say? I know the bible tells us we must forgive others or how can we expect forgiveness. It’s so hard. I feel my soul has been taken away from me. Everything I thought to be true turned out to be a lie. I gave up so much trying to be as perfect as I could be trying to make sure I entered heaven. I personally didn’t care if I was one of the 144,000 as long as I was part of the great multitude.
How can I forgive those who knowingly deceived me? How can I stand before God after I worshipped a false god? How does one begin to heal so that forgiveness can be granted? Everyday I wake up trying to remember what my reality is. Am I in? Am I out? Have I fallen away? How do I get back?
Forgiveness. How do you forgive when there is so much pain? I truly thought I was a part of something so good & righteous. I’ve heard forgiveness is more for the injured party more than the one who committed the bad deed. I know for my sanity I need to forgive. But I can’t right now. The pain is too great, too deep, too fresh.
You're so right. It is so hard to forgive. Specially as Jesus said, (I'm paraphrasing) do not fear the one who can harm the body but the one who can destroy the soul.
I remember reading a poster put up in a doctor's clinic. This doctor was no Christian but he was a follower of Christ. I do not remember the words exactly but it was about forgiveness. The gist of it was that when we fail to forgive, we inadvertently give the other person the power to control us. Power over our health, power over our happiness. That is why, you need to forgive and move on. The people who preached to you are victims themselves.
It will take time but you owe it to yourself. Don't rush it but take it one day at a time. Go easy on yourself. It is impossible for man but with God all is possible.
While you are struggling to forgive them, keep in mind a few things.
1. God loves you, you can always stand before Him. Remember the Prodigal Son!
2. Just because you are having trouble forgiving, you can still ask God to forgive them for you.
3. God loves you, even when you can't find it in your heart to forgive. Just keep trying.
4. They are all victims too, even Zahng and Ahn. They are all deceived by Satan, and his slaves wittingly or uniwittingly. The devil is a cruel master. Pitty them.
5. God loves you.
Disturbed, I totally understand your pain and how hard it has been to try to forgive those responsible for what happened. It can happen, it is just going to take time. Irenaeus and Emil, your posts really helped me. I will try to keep them in mind. Thanks.
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