- Topic
Today I spoke to a relative that I had not spoken to since not long after I joined the “group”. Since being out I avoided speaking to her because I felt she ambushed me upon learning I was a member. Unfortunately a death in the family prompted me to call her and express my condolences. After that part of the conversation she said, “let’s get rid of the elephant sitting in the room”. She wanted to know why I left the “group”. I briefly explained why without too much detail because I wasn’t really in the mood. I then expressed that I probably wouldn’t attend the funeral because I’m uncomfortable going inside churches at the present time, which thank goodness she fully understood. Towards the end of the conversation, she said something really important that I really needed to hear today. I’ve been telling her that while I know God has forgiven me for having left Him, I still feel like I have to repent and make up for those years. I’m constantly apologizing to God for my transgressions and asking for forgiveness. The beautiful thing my cousin said to me was that God had already forgiven me, what I needed was to forgive myself. She’s right. So now I think I need to change my prayer request and ask God to lead me to forgive myself.
I pray for all of us still healing that we can learn to forgive ourselves. It’s definitely a process. I’m just happy that I have the support of all of you who are also affected. I’m also happy that I have the love and support of my family. I have heard recently how much my mom prayed for me. To this day my mom hasn’t said much about how she felt while I was away.
Thank you all for allowing me to share.
Good for you disturbed…! Thank you for sharing , it helps..
That's a good word, Disturbed. Thank you.
There is a verse that has been on my heart recently. I think it's for you.
The background in short is that Israel had gone through a severe plague of locusts, but God promises restoration, and He says,
"So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten…" (Joel 2:25 NKJV)
Whenever I think of lost time like that (lamenting, how can we get it back?!), I remember that God's grace can bring abundance to make up for them in His own special way.
Disturbed, your posts are inspiring and helpful. Thanks.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.