- Topic
So many of us here have done volumes of research proving the doctrine of the WMSCOG wrong. Most of us made the mistake early on trying to help our loved ones understand that what they're into is not real, factual, truthful, or good. We almost proudly proclaim the reality of the situation and then we are almost taken off our feet when our loved ones don't see it our way or thank us for pointing out the failures of the WMS. Have you ever wondered why our loved ones focus on all of the reasons why what we are telling them cannot be true and why they shouldn't leave? Are you frustrated when you have a good discussion with a current member where it seems like you are both on the same page only to see them go back to the same imprisonment? When you're shot down do you come back with an even stronger tone and emphasis?
All of this above is merely normal behavior related to the basic human needs of survival, acknowledgement, and feeling important. (Love, and Self Esteme)
Why doesn't a reasonable change happen when the truth is shown to members under the undue influence of a controling group or person? Mature behavior is possible only when all of these factors, these basic needs, are in balance with each other. If one of these basic needs are out of balance or percieved as threatened, that's where most of the persons energy will be focused almost guarenteeing that the needed changes will not occur.
Folks, it comes back to LOVE and making people feel worthwhile.
The loved ones that are trapped are not going to feel like they have anywhere else to go if we fail to address these basic human needs. No-one wants to feel like their thoughts and feeling are worthless. When we directly attack what it is that they are into it feels like a personal attack. You are not going to get the response you are hoping for by doing this. Your loved ones will not feel loved or have a sense of being acknowledged when they feel that they are being attacked. Don't be shocked when they want to get away from you. They are going to go where they feel accepted and loved. This is why people go further into the WMSCOG than they ever should and stay longer even after they figure out that they are being lied to.
I wish that people would discover this truth before they confront their loved ones about the WMSCOG. Think of all of the hurt that would be avoided and the destruction that could be prevented.
I am a Christian and I am involved in a church group but I hope that you noticed that in this post I did not include Bible references or make Christian moral statements. These folks have had the Bible used to convince them that the WMSCOG has the "truth". They have already been prepared to reject you when you come at them with biblical contradictions. This is part of their feelings of being attacked. It's a trap that any normal person who cares about others will fall into. Yes, I speak from experience.
You are right, Joshua. If only we knew at the beginning what we know now. Even after you back track and try to do what the experts say to do about not arguing, making them feel loved, etc., the initial response seems to be what they focus on. I think it is what the church tells the to focus on. After years of trying to do what the experts have said to do, I still can't get my loved one to see. I can't get him to see, only he can do that for himself.
That being said, I know of people who have responded with love from the beginning and their loved one is still in the Wms after years and years. Again, they have to see for themselves. Meanwhile, they waste their lives there, derail careers, lose so much more in relationships and finances than they can ever repair. It's hard to watch. It's hard not to lose hope. Sometimes you have to look away and just let what is happening happen some more because you lose big parts of who you are, also, in trying to hold on to them. We can't always do that to the detriment of the others that we love.
I'm with Mountain Mom on this one! As mothers of children trapped in this controlling group, it is hard to watch. I feel helpless and many times hopeless. I have had hundreds of people tell me they are praying for my child and it is now over 3 years and my child is as devoted as ever! The prayers are not working, the love them no matter what is not working – nothing is working. When they control your free time, your living arrangments, your marriage, your job, your money and your MIND – it takes a lot to shake that foundation. As we have posted here many times – many other cults have had their leaders die and the followers still follow – right to their graves! I hope that is not the case for my child, but sometimes it is hard to think otherwise.
So as MM says, we move on, and re-focus on our other family – the ones who love us and want to be in our lives. They are worth my time and thoughts. I will always love my child but until they realize what they have become, I can't really help them. I try to help others who have questions and doubts. And that is why I am here.
@Ms. Freedom. Lets hope, when Zhang passes the hold will be relinquished off of many of the members.
Ms Freedom wrote:
… I will always love my child but until they realize what they have become, I can't really help them. I try to help others who have questions and doubts. And that is why I am here.
Very well said Ms. Freedom.
Joshua wrote:
It breaks my heart for the position that many of you are in. The emotions of when my loved one was trapped are still pretty raw so I understand where you are coming from. Just keep in mind that I'm here for you as well if you need someplace to escape to.
That's an important post by Joshua, I hope no one is trying to shoulder this alone!
If you are, I highly recommend you reach out to someone here, just to talk.
Joshua and Mountain Mom are knowledgeable, caring and can be trusted! They WILL welcome you with open arms!
Certainly, there are others here as well, those 2 just come to my mind immediately.
The important thing is, "you are NOT alone and you don't have to do this alone"!
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