[MrAnderson]

I don't know if I'm in a cult but it seems like it. I go to the NY church of God. I'm so confused right now… I mean.. many things that we do are based in the Bible and really, If this church is not correct, then who is? But there are many things that I see that are not correct.

The sisters … the brothers… everybody is so arrogant, everybody just wants to please the pastor of the church. Even when the pastor says something that everybody knows is not correct, everybody still says "yes" (because we have to be obedient).

I mean.. I understand we have to be obedient… but we cant be robots.

I'm so confused about the "Being robots" thing. We can't have "our own mind" but also we have to "have a mind". If we do something without asking the pastor there is a problem because "we had our own mind". If we dont do something because we had to ask the pastor its also a problem because "we had no mind".

Also the pastor is pretty much a racist. He says we have to preach to "White people" and everybody just smiles. When we have to take a picture "White people" have to be in front. If somebody that is white does something that is bad he might forgive it. If somebody that is black does the same thing … he was ghetto and has to be kicked out. I guess he doenst understand that even "white people" feel bad when he treats them like tool for PR and "black people" feel bad too. He says that we have to preach to white people because we are in america, so we have to preach to americans…. blacks, hispanics, etc etc are also americans but he doesnt care.

Also something that makes me so uncomfortable is his relationship with the sisters. He is always so close to the girls. He pays much more attention to us than to the brothers and we have to go to the pastor for every little thing.

He is also always talking bad about the other church of god in america. It's like a west coast vs east coast thing. He is always trying to exalt himself and mentions how the other pastors have no idea about anything.

The leaders of the church are always talking about how we have to "bear fruit" and that we dont bear fruit because of our mind, and because we are not relying on Father and Mother… but if its like that, why the leaders dont bear fruit every day? why the pastor doesnt have so many fruits? I guess nobody is that good in the church.

I just feel like venting… I'm just disappointed … I have a couple of recordings of the pastor "rebuking" us… I will upload them when I get the courage. Crazy thing is that I still believe. I still think Mother is God, and I understand we are not perfect… but the doubt is that , if Mother is God, why doenst She just calls the Pastor and tells him to stop being so arrogant?

And just a note… reading through this forum.. It's such a turn off when you guys make fun of Mother or of the church. You guys have to understand we are human beings and not cult leaders. We do believe in this, and you guys instead of helping you make us so upset. Instead of making fun of us, making fun of Mother… maybe try to understand, and if you really think that this is a cult, find a better way to get us out… It might work for new people, but for us that have some time, it just get us upset…