[rodeoneerer]

It’s a funny old game, Blood Bowl 3. Whether it’s the clunky UI, infestation of bugs, self sabotaging AI or the fact that things just, well, break, it’s not really clear whether I should be reviewing Blood Bowl 3 or recording my frustrating attempts to play the game as a performance art piece.

Blood Bowl 3, developed by Cyanide Studios and published by NACON, is a rendition of fantasy American football set in the world of Warhammer: Fantasy, where tackling is done with fists and boot heels. Based off of the tabletop game of the same name by Games Workshop, you create a team composed of one of the races/factions from the Warhammer series as you take part in leagues and tournaments in a series titled Blood Bowl. All American football rules apply except the players have to bludgeon to death the opposition while making a touchdown.

Moment to moment, the turn-based mechanics are fun, tactical, and exciting. A lot of my pre-existing criticisms of Blood Bowl as a video game still stand, in that I think using six-sided dice for everything can feel a bit too random, and that works better when you’re leaning over a table and having some beers with friends than it does in a video game against the AI. Sometimes the outcome of a play comes down too much to luck and too little to player skill.

Mechanically, it’s an incredibly satisfying game to play, but there it can also be one of the most frustrating, as every action is decided by dice rolls and a simple dodge can easily led to your star player falling over and breaking his neck on the fantasy-themed astroturf.

Throughout the match, the sounds of roaring fans and the commentators talking over the game gives a genuine sense of realism. It’s also a plus that actions in Blood Bowl are reacted to, especially as the commentators’ bad mouth the players on the field when you roll low numbers.

All teams and individual players are customisable. From team uniforms, colours, and emblems to unlocking new gear and cheerleaders with every game you won, there’s a lot you can do to make your squad standout against the others.

It also kind of looks worse overall. Obviously the higher graphics settings have increased fidelity and make use of more modern rendering techniques, but when I look at Blood Bowl 2 and 3 side-by-side, I just prefer the former. The colors were more saturated and in-your-face, the whole match was more readable. And I could be wrong, but it seems like the player models and animations have hardly changed at all.

Then there are parts of the game that have clearly been cut so they can be sold to you later. Generally it’s okay when you can see an area that a game will expand: the exemplary Company of Heroes 3 has clearly defined markers where you can see the DLC will slot into, but what’s already on offer is so good you can give it a pass. Here, it’s parts of the game that have always been standard. Mutations in Blood Bowl 2 came with a cool cosmetic change so that your beastman with three arms had, well, three arms. In Blood Bowl 3, a three-armed beastman has a disappointing two arms on his character instead, robbing the game of a tiny cosmetic change that was neat and helped to distinguish your players.

Whether or not I’m terrible at American football or Blood Bowl 3’s RNG is rigged to make me lose 25 games in a row without making one touchdown, Blood Bowl 3 is a tightly woven game that you should get your hands on simply for the challenge. Unforgiving gameplay will prevent some players (me included) from making progress but an overall experience, nevertheless if you want to bang your head against a wall or an orc, go right ahead I’ll just be here licking my wounds.

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