- Topic
A few days ago I read an article in Dear Abby about Abusive Relationships. It struck a chord with me because I taught high school students about this type of thing for years, and I know what the signs are. I know how to help people assess if they are in an abusive relationship. Most of the things an abuser does in a male/female relationship also apply to the relationship the wmscog has wwith it's members. And it is important to note that an abuser does not have to do every single on a checklist of things to still definitely be an abuser. If several of the characteristics on the list match, the abuse is there.
Some of the things on the checklist include: 1) Constant calling and/or texting to "check up on you." 2) Isolation from friends and family 3) Blaming others for their own shortcomings, anything bad that happens is the other person's fault (you are causing this problem to yourself by your own behavior) 4) Double standards: If I/we do this it is OK, but not if you/others do it. 5) Controlling behavior, like telling you how to dress, or becoming angry if you don't answer your phone or text right away 6) Use of manipulation or fear if the person may be thinking of leaving 7) Making the other person completely dependent upon the abuser 8) Jealousy, like telling you not to talk to other people who might put ideas in your head.
These characteristics do not seem to apply to any other church I know of, but they seem very similar to the tactics used by the wmscog. It has always been my opinion that the relationship the church has with it's members relies on manipulation, fear, and closely resembles an abusive relationship. It also explains why people don't leave the abuser right away. Not everyone recognizes an abusive relationship for what it is and sometimes even buy into the idea that the behavior is somehow their own fault (Had doubts, missed an appointed time, went on vacation, etc.) to me this is very telling about the church.
Yes!!! It is.
MountainMom wrote:
A few days ago I read an article in Dear Abby about Abusive Relationships. It struck a chord with me because I taught high school students about this type of thing for years, and I know what the signs are. I know how to help people assess if they are in an abusive relationship. Most of the things an abuser does in a male/female relationship also apply to the relationship the wmscog has wwith it's members. And it is important to note that an abuser does not have to do every single on a checklist of things to still definitely be an abuser. If several of the characteristics on the list match, the abuse is there.
Some of the things on the checklist include: 1) Constant calling and/or texting to "check up on you." 2) Isolation from friends and family 3) Blaming others for their own shortcomings, anything bad that happens is the other person's fault (you are causing this problem to yourself by your own behavior) 4) Double standards: If I/we do this it is OK, but not if you/others do it. 5) Controlling behavior, like telling you how to dress, or becoming angry if you don't answer your phone or text right away 6) Use of manipulation or fear if the person may be thinking of leaving 7) Making the other person completely dependent upon the abuser 8) Jealousy, like telling you not to talk to other people who might put ideas in your head.
These characteristics do not seem to apply to any other church I know of, but they seem very similar to the tactics used by the wmscog. It has always been my opinion that the relationship the church has with it's members relies on manipulation, fear, and closely resembles an abusive relationship. It also explains why people don't leave the abuser right away. Not everyone recognizes an abusive relationship for what it is and sometimes even buy into the idea that the behavior is somehow their own fault (Had doubts, missed an appointed time, went on vacation, etc.) to me this is very telling about the church.
Yes!!! It is.
Copy cat.
YoMomma SoFat wrote:
Copy cat.
greatest form of flattery….and I wanted to make sure Mountain Mom's post didn't get buried because it's really important
Harry wrote:
MountainMom wrote:
A few days ago I read an article in Dear Abby about Abusive Relationships. It struck a chord with me because I taught high school students about this type of thing for years, and I know what the signs are. I know how to help people assess if they are in an abusive relationship. Most of the things an abuser does in a male/female relationship also apply to the relationship the wmscog has wwith it's members. And it is important to note that an abuser does not have to do every single on a checklist of things to still definitely be an abuser. If several of the characteristics on the list match, the abuse is there.
Some of the things on the checklist include: 1) Constant calling and/or texting to "check up on you." 2) Isolation from friends and family 3) Blaming others for their own shortcomings, anything bad that happens is the other person's fault (you are causing this problem to yourself by your own behavior) 4) Double standards: If I/we do this it is OK, but not if you/others do it. 5) Controlling behavior, like telling you how to dress, or becoming angry if you don't answer your phone or text right away 6) Use of manipulation or fear if the person may be thinking of leaving 7) Making the other person completely dependent upon the abuser 8) Jealousy, like telling you not to talk to other people who might put ideas in your head.
These characteristics do not seem to apply to any other church I know of, but they seem very similar to the tactics used by the wmscog. It has always been my opinion that the relationship the church has with it's members relies on manipulation, fear, and closely resembles an abusive relationship. It also explains why people don't leave the abuser right away. Not everyone recognizes an abusive relationship for what it is and sometimes even buy into the idea that the behavior is somehow their own fault (Had doubts, missed an appointed time, went on vacation, etc.) to me this is very telling about the church.
Yes!!! It is.
Many times, I have spoken to experts who feel that a large part of the "recovery" from being involved with a cult has got to be recognizing and dealing with controlling and abusive relationships. I'm sure most people here won't be shocked to hear that but for those who are still working to get their loved ones out, you might want to make a note of it because they ARE coming out and there is a recovery period.
In fact I wonder if any current member might find MM's post helpful
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