- Topic
Ever since I left the Church of God I've had to battle with my own personal demons that were dormant I guess. I used to struggle with alcohol and partying for the longest time. I had a period of time where I stopped and life was really great. I got baptized into the COG in 2006. From there I was a pretty devout member. Anyways I feel away and I started to sink deeper into alcholism and partying all weekend long. I simply lost my love for God. My tour in the COG destroyed my faith in the bible and I have no faith at in a higher power. Which hurts because I need one…I know that. Even before the COG when I was doing bible studies I had a feeling of obligation to God and that led me to stay away from certain things. Now fast forward to 2013 and I'm a mess. I'm pretty much an alcoholic and I see my life is fading away. I have a wonderful family and even though they still attend COG services I don't care. I guess I'm trying to figure out how I can get my faith in God back. Its hard for me to stomach anything really biblical. Sorry for the rant…but this has been on my mind for quite some time.
Oh Shugyo i forgot to to tell you a bed time story……[removed for rules]
You are free to vent. I don’t expect life’s challenges to be easy.
Hi Shugyo,
I regret that I was not able to reply to your post sooner, and I hope that you are still around to see this. This sight was down for over a week, so I only saw your post just now. My apologies!
I am sure that God appreciates how forthcoming and honest you are right now. The fact that you even post this means that you still have a deep love and yearning from God. We all have struggles in live, and I can relating to the feeling of yearing for God and truly wanting to live life in a way that is pleasing to him.
After the wsmcog, it is hard for me to stomach anything Biblical as well. Every church I've been true throughout my life has been phoney. I'm am starting to come to the conclusion that organized religions just bring your further away from God instead of closer to him. You have to take man and rules out of it to make your relationship with God as personal as possible.
The only advice I can give to you is pray. Tell God everthing that you've said in this post. As I've said, I'm still searching myself, so I definitely don't have any answers. At first it might not seem like you'll get a response. But something might sudden come to you, either in your mind or through a different person. God seems to have lots of different ways of speaking to us.
Also you can't do this alone. You never have to fight alone. Join support groups and find others just like yourself.
And yes, as Sarah said, you can feel free to vent and we will be here to listen anytime. Please keep us updated!
Oh yes.. vent away. I've vented to Sarah. She's a great listener. =)
Lol! Renita.
Shugyo,
Given your post, may I suggest that you log on to Amazon and search for cult recovery books.
Also, what you are likely seeing is a pattern that is associated with Bible/religion. Take some time to understand what pseudo religions do, that they masquerade as religion as their hook to obtain new members, and how they differ from a bona-fide moral compass.
How does your life look like now?
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