[Joshua]

Budro dies and goes to Hell. He's sitting down there mildly content. Satan walks by, sees him and says, "What's with you?" He says, "This feels like a June day in Louisiana." Satan gets mad and goes over to the thermostate and turns it up. Later he comes by and Budro is smiling to himself. Satan goes, "What are you smiling about?" Budro says, "This feels like a July day down on the biyjou." Satan gets more angree and turns the thermostate up even higher. About a half hour later Satan walks by and Budro is kinda snickering now. He says, "It's hotter than Hell down here. What are you snickering about?" He says, "This feels like an August day down south." Satan goes over to the thermostate and reefs on it and breaks it. Things start getting cold, it starts icing up, eventually it starts snowing. Satan comes by and Budro is rolling with laughter on the ground, he's high fiving the demons, and generally causing a scene. Satan goes, "What's your problem. Before it was hotter than hell and now it's freezing. Why are you so excited?" He says, "Well obviously the Saints just won the Superbowl!"

 

Add your humorous story here!

[Sarah2013]

[Sarah2013]

An old man is sitting on a park bench crying his eyes out. A young jogger comes by and asks him what is the matter.

The old man says, “I’m a multimillionaire. I have a great big house and the fastest car in the world, and I just married a beautiful blonde bombshell.”

The young jogger says, “Man, you have everything I have ever dreamed for in my life. What could be so wrong in your life that you are sitting here in the park crying?”

The old man says, “I can’t remember where I live.”

[Sarah2013]

An old man is sitting on a park bench crying his eyes out. A young jogger comes by and asks him what is the matter.

The old man says, “I’m a multimillionaire. I have a great big house and the fastest car in the world, and I just married a beautiful blonde bombshell.”

The young jogger says, “Man, you have everything I have ever dreamed for in my life. What could be so wrong in your life that you are sitting here in the park crying?”

The old man says, “I can’t remember where I live.”

[Sarah2013]

Husband: I just saw a very beautiful woman.

Wife: Really? Then what happened?

Husband: I just kept on admiring her, on and on…

Wife (getting irritated): WHAT happened then?

Husband smiled and said: You’re still here!

[Sarah2013]

Husband: I just saw a very beautiful woman.

Wife: Really? Then what happened?

Husband: I just kept on admiring her, on and on…

Wife (getting irritated): WHAT happened then?

Husband smiled and said: You’re still here!

[Sarah2013]

Did you hear about the guy who went to the dentist to get new dentures?

His insurance was denied and he only had a dollar on him… so he wound up with buck teeth.

[Sarah2013]

Did you hear about the guy who went to the dentist to get new dentures?

His insurance was denied and he only had a dollar on him… so he wound up with buck teeth.

[Love'n Honey]

Sarah2013 wrote:

Husband: I just saw a very beautiful woman.

Wife: Really? Then what happened?

Husband: I just kept on admiring her, on and on…

Wife (getting irritated): WHAT happened then?

Husband smiled and said: You're still here!

 One of my ex's did something like this. I was so flattered. =)

[Love'n Honey]

Sarah2013 wrote:

Husband: I just saw a very beautiful woman.

Wife: Really? Then what happened?

Husband: I just kept on admiring her, on and on…

Wife (getting irritated): WHAT happened then?

Husband smiled and said: You're still here!

 One of my ex's did something like this. I was so flattered. =)

[Simon]

Rabbi Bloom and Father O’Reilly were arguing one day about religion. They went on for some time and very soon, things began to get out of hand.

Then Rabbi Bloom said, “We must not quarrel in this way. It’s not right. We are both doing God's work, you in your way and I in His.”

[Simon]

Rabbi Bloom and Father O’Reilly were arguing one day about religion. They went on for some time and very soon, things began to get out of hand.

Then Rabbi Bloom said, “We must not quarrel in this way. It’s not right. We are both doing God's work, you in your way and I in His.”

[Sarah2013]

Lol!!!!! Now that was funny! ” you in your way and I in His.” Kinda like a polite insult. Lol.

[Sarah2013]

Lol!!!!! Now that was funny! ” you in your way and I in His.” Kinda like a polite insult. Lol.

[Joshua]

Redneck jokes, will they ever really get old?

 

You might be a redneck if…Every electrical outlet in your house is a fire hazard.Your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mudflaps.You owe the taxidermist more than your annual income.You fainted when you met Slim Whitman.You have lost at least one tooth opening a beer bottle.Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired people".You won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.Your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.You have a Hefty bag on the passenger side window of your car.You have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occasions.

You might be a redneck if…Your soap on a rope doubles as an air freshener.Your wife's hairdo attracts bees.Your baby's first words are "Attention K-Mart shoppers."The antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.Your primary source of income is the pawn shop.You pick your teeth from a catalog.You've ever financed a tattoo.You refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the "day my ship came in."Your hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan.Your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.

Consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.Fewer than half of your cars run.You've ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.

 

[Joshua]

Redneck jokes, will they ever really get old?

 

You might be a redneck if…Every electrical outlet in your house is a fire hazard.Your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mudflaps.You owe the taxidermist more than your annual income.You fainted when you met Slim Whitman.You have lost at least one tooth opening a beer bottle.Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired people".You won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.Your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.You have a Hefty bag on the passenger side window of your car.You have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occasions.

You might be a redneck if…Your soap on a rope doubles as an air freshener.Your wife's hairdo attracts bees.Your baby's first words are "Attention K-Mart shoppers."The antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.Your primary source of income is the pawn shop.You pick your teeth from a catalog.You've ever financed a tattoo.You refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the "day my ship came in."Your hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan.Your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.

Consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.Fewer than half of your cars run.You've ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.

 

[Joshua]

On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother.

The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."

 

[Joshua]

On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother.

The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."

 

[ILJC2013]

Joshua!! I like your joke its funny but Im from the South and its Boudreaux and Bayou (not Budro and Biyou) everyone thats not from here mispells this words we use all the time. Good job on lightening the subject tough. We all need that here:)

[ILJC2013]

Joshua!! I like your joke its funny but Im from the South and its Boudreaux and Bayou (not Budro and Biyou) everyone thats not from here mispells this words we use all the time. Good job on lightening the subject tough. We all need that here:)

[Joshua]

*Dictionary of Project Terms*

Project slightly behind original schedule due to unforeseen difficulties– We got so sick of working on this that we decided to do something else.

Major Technological Breakthrough–Back to the drawing board.

Developed after years of intensive research–It was discovered by accident.

Customer satisfaction is believed assured–We are so far behind schedule that the customer will be happy to get anything at all from us.

The design will be finalized in the next reporting period–We haven't started this job yet, but we've got to say something.

Test results were extremely gratifying–It works, and are we surprised.

Extensive effort is being applied on a fresh approach to the problem–We just hired three new guys; we'll let them kick it around for a while.

Preliminary operational tests are inconclusive–The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.

The entire concept will have to be abandoned–The only guy who understood the thing quit.

Modifications are under way to correct certain minor difficulties–We threw the whole thing out and are starting from scratch.

[Joshua]

*Dictionary of Project Terms*

Project slightly behind original schedule due to unforeseen difficulties– We got so sick of working on this that we decided to do something else.

Major Technological Breakthrough–Back to the drawing board.

Developed after years of intensive research–It was discovered by accident.

Customer satisfaction is believed assured–We are so far behind schedule that the customer will be happy to get anything at all from us.

The design will be finalized in the next reporting period–We haven't started this job yet, but we've got to say something.

Test results were extremely gratifying–It works, and are we surprised.

Extensive effort is being applied on a fresh approach to the problem–We just hired three new guys; we'll let them kick it around for a while.

Preliminary operational tests are inconclusive–The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.

The entire concept will have to be abandoned–The only guy who understood the thing quit.

Modifications are under way to correct certain minor difficulties–We threw the whole thing out and are starting from scratch.